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I'm new & struggling with loss of dad. What help is there?

Louise19802000
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Hi im new here and I just want someone to help or even just listen,

I'll start from the beginning so sorry ot could be long.... my brother in January of 2021 wish my dad dead of cancer well February 2021 my dad was diagnosed with head and neck cancer... ,(so I guess he got his wish) anyway I tried so hard to help my dad but I just felt so pushed aside all the time cut a long story short (so you all don't get bored) my mother was offered help from mcmillian and Marie curie which she declined so I found out later as I contacted the district nurses and they told me everything so with that I confronted my mother as she was saying absorbs of things about my dad and his treatment which I found all to be lies, she got the help and 2 days later dad passed away I was absolutely heartbroken, myself and my brother and mother argued because they lied constantly about everything even thier little stories they made up together so I didn't find out anything which later after his passing has come to light.

I really can't cope with his death and I feel so alone I lost a family when he passed.

I need to know what will help me I cant get an appointment with the doctor I constantly argue with my partner over any little thing, part of me wishes I went with my dad but my son keeps me here please I hope someone can understand me and maybe just a little bit of advice thanks for reading x

Parents
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    Hi,

    I read this and i truly sympathise with you. My dad has terminal head and neck cancer and I know what it's like being a daddy's girl he was my lone parent as a child. I still have him here but I don't know for how long as he's very sick. I have siblings but no one was taking it seriously like me and I'm the youngest. Now I feel it's almost too late (been going for 2 years and no treatment works). We could drive ourselves crazy trying to figure out what happened and pointing blame but I think as another person has said to be able to take that love and hold your child's hand and guide them with that same love is precious. Grief is all consuming at the best of times. Would it be helpful to go though for those answers? Maybe they were trying to "protect you" (in an abstract way)? Its hard when you've felt alone in it all I certainly did for 2 years alone while being a mum, working and running my dads business. Talking will be a big help. It can be hard to get going or let your emotional wall down.

    here if you need to talk. Xx

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  • Offline

    Hi,

    I read this and i truly sympathise with you. My dad has terminal head and neck cancer and I know what it's like being a daddy's girl he was my lone parent as a child. I still have him here but I don't know for how long as he's very sick. I have siblings but no one was taking it seriously like me and I'm the youngest. Now I feel it's almost too late (been going for 2 years and no treatment works). We could drive ourselves crazy trying to figure out what happened and pointing blame but I think as another person has said to be able to take that love and hold your child's hand and guide them with that same love is precious. Grief is all consuming at the best of times. Would it be helpful to go though for those answers? Maybe they were trying to "protect you" (in an abstract way)? Its hard when you've felt alone in it all I certainly did for 2 years alone while being a mum, working and running my dads business. Talking will be a big help. It can be hard to get going or let your emotional wall down.

    here if you need to talk. Xx

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