Hiya, thank you so much for getting back to me, I feel so lost in my life right now I know his been gone since April 2021 but I thought I could deal with things and ive slowly lost everything and I really can't be without my dad but I know I have too and thats the hardest of all 

Hello Louise19802000, 

What you are going through after the loss of your dad is really tough but many of our members will understand how you are feeling at the moment and I hope they will be along, just as the lovely Chriss has been, to talk to you about their own experiences. As Chriss rightly said, the grieving process can take many forms and I thought I would share with you our page on coping with grief  so that you can better understand some of the emotions involved when dealing with intense grief as you are.

Keep strong though as you have been doing and think about your son and all those around you who love you. Perhaps it would be worth keeping trying to get in touch with your doctor. You could try and speak to a receptionist at your surgery and explaining that you really need to talk to a GP as soon as possible. There is help available and your doctor will be able to signpost you to the best services in your area and might suggest you get some grief counselling. 

Chriss mentioned Cruse Bereavement Support and just as it helped Chriss to talk to their helpline, perhaps you could get in touch with them as she suggested. As they say on their homepage, "grief can be overwhelming and you don't have to go through it alone".  You can call them for free on 0808 808 1677 and they also have an online chat service which you can access on this page. 

I hope this helps a little and I just wanted you to know that we are all there for you on the forum anytime you feel you need to reach out to others who are in a similar place. 

Warmest wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi ...

I lost my amazing mum 32 years ago to a heart attack... suddenly one Monday afternoon at 5.20 p m .. we were the best buddies ever, we did everything with my son's who adored her too ...

There's no time limit on morning .. it can be instant or come months or years down the line ... but I kept in mind, what she would want me to do ... and l wanted to make her proud up there ... I did learn to live without her, but I never stopped missing her ... even now, I look up to the stars and picture her there smiling down ...

You see you never lost your dad, just look in the mirror... you are half of him ... he is there tucked up in your heart for you to carry him with you, through your life ... you now have your child to hold their hand and protect them to grow into adults that love you for being there when they need you ... 

So hold those memories and give yourself permission to feel what ever comes into your mind... whatever that is .. and know occasionally it's o.k to not be o.k ... it's o.k to feel sad, it means the ones we lost were loved ... you can do this, one day, one step at a time ... and think what he'd say to you ... Chrissie x 

Hi,

I read this and i truly sympathise with you. My dad has terminal head and neck cancer and I know what it's like being a daddy's girl he was my lone parent as a child. I still have him here but I don't know for how long as he's very sick. I have siblings but no one was taking it seriously like me and I'm the youngest. Now I feel it's almost too late (been going for 2 years and no treatment works). We could drive ourselves crazy trying to figure out what happened and pointing blame but I think as another person has said to be able to take that love and hold your child's hand and guide them with that same love is precious. Grief is all consuming at the best of times. Would it be helpful to go though for those answers? Maybe they were trying to "protect you" (in an abstract way)? Its hard when you've felt alone in it all I certainly did for 2 years alone while being a mum, working and running my dads business. Talking will be a big help. It can be hard to get going or let your emotional wall down.

here if you need to talk. Xx