Dad terminally ill

Good evening,

I am looking for anyone to speak to. My dad was diagnosed of rectal cancer back in April which has spread to his liver, bones and abdomen. He battled with his surgery for 4 months saying something wasn't right along with all the issues he was having and it took 4 months for the Dr to send him for a scan when he was then diagnosed. He was unable to have chemo due to a faulty gene and it was 70% risk of making him really unwell or worse. That has now gone down to 50% and he was offered chemo. Unfortunately he took a turn for the worse and has now been given weeks/short months to live. With a letter saying had this have been picked up earlier and they started chemo early on we would likely be looking at a different story. I am absolutely distraught and really feel he has been let down by the his surgery and Drs this is not something I say lightly working for the NHS myself. I am sure my anger is part of the emotions I am going through. My heart just breaks for him, he is only 59 and I pray he is one of the lucky ones. 

Parents
  • Hello Steel.A, 

    I can understand why you are feeling distraught  and let down - it is so sad that your dad has deteriorated and been given only weeks or short months to live. Even though your anger is totally justified, you are right in saying that it is part of the emotions you are currently experiencing. You are probably feeling powerless, that there isn't anything you can do at the moment to change the way things are or to go back in time. I know it's really hard but try not to dwell too much on this feeling of anger and to focus on being there for your dad and making sure he is as well looked after as possible. 

    I will now let some of our members who have been in a similar situation come and say hello and share their experience with you. It helps to talk to others who understand those feelings you describe and who may have felt the same way themselves before. 

    We're thinking of you and your dad during this difficult time. 

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Reply
  • Hello Steel.A, 

    I can understand why you are feeling distraught  and let down - it is so sad that your dad has deteriorated and been given only weeks or short months to live. Even though your anger is totally justified, you are right in saying that it is part of the emotions you are currently experiencing. You are probably feeling powerless, that there isn't anything you can do at the moment to change the way things are or to go back in time. I know it's really hard but try not to dwell too much on this feeling of anger and to focus on being there for your dad and making sure he is as well looked after as possible. 

    I will now let some of our members who have been in a similar situation come and say hello and share their experience with you. It helps to talk to others who understand those feelings you describe and who may have felt the same way themselves before. 

    We're thinking of you and your dad during this difficult time. 

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

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