Hi there trust me it's the way our brain works. My husband has stage four lung cancer and we're now four years on and when he's not well and I struggle to cope my mind goes to he darkest places. We cannot control our thoughts and  at least he moment you feel that's beat for your family but it's not because you're still here and although they may feel down some days most days they will thank God that they can see you, hug you and have a giggle over something silly, such is life.   Take it a day at a time. Live each one and enjoy the day,  watch the birds gel the am see nature change and keep family close. Everyone is here to help you through your toughest times. Rant at us we know how you feel. Carol x

Hi im on palative care, was diagnosed Feb 2016 ,im on permanent treatment (tablets and 3monthly injections) I've got prostate cancer gone to lymph nodes spine ribs pelvis and a lung ,I had chemotherapy at beginning of treatment .if I hadn't had it I would have died that year ,as it is I've had a good life living and enjoying it apart from odd hickups with treatment and cancer rising.

Sometimes I feel down but mostly im positive and sure , I've been looking after my darling wife, she has Alzheimer's and Parkinson's till lately when treatment has been rough .we still enjoy life despite problems ,got house done to make life as easy as possible for us both.. my wife has carers three times through the day.

I'm just giving you my side of things as I Cancer survivor .

I was still working,(metal fabrication and welding firm) till I had to retire to look after my wife.

Billy