Hi Rachya95,

Welcome to Cancer Chat. I'm very sorry to hear of the situation with your grandad - I can imagine this must be incredibly difficult.

Making as many memories as you can sounds like a good approach. I'm sure you already have a lot of positive times too to look back on. It's never easy in these situations, but do what you can to look after yourself and make the most of the time with your grandad. Keep talking to him and say anything you want to say, and I'm sure he knows how much you're there for him and the love that's there.

In terms of yourself, it helps to speak to others - friends or family around you for example - as well as to write things down. This forum can be a safe space for you to write things down and to speak to others who understand.

Take things a day at a time and also try to focus on things you enjoy among everything else going on.

Wishing you all the best,

Ben
Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi Rachya95,

I know this post is about a month ago now but I cannot even begin to imagine what you were and are still going through. How is your grandad doing now? 
 

I want you to know that you are in noway being selfish. It's very easy for people to say that in the case of elderly people that they are old and it's somehow "okay" for them to die but that doesn't make it any easier or less painful when it comes to the closest people in our lives. I think people like you who have a close bond with their grandparents will understand exactly what I mean when I say that the biggest fear I have is losing my grandmother who is also the only grandparent I have left. I always pray she has many more years with us. I can understand exactly what you may be feeling but please know that just because your grandfather may be elderly does not invalidate your feelings or grief or make you selfish in anyway. 
 

Grandparents are so precious and must be treasured which I am sure you do. Will be thinking of you and your grandad. Wishing you all the strength to get through this. If you need to talk, I'm here. 

In response to Rachya95.

Im sorry to hear about your grandad,  I don't have the answers your looking for. I can only suggest things to remember him by. What your feeling is no different from anyone else.

It's never easy talking or thinking about the future when your grandad is suffering. My wife's sister has a little corner in her garden as a memorial to remember her mum dad and her brother. We asked the funeral directors who were fantastic with the arrangements. they put four pouches with some of my wife's Ashes into four pouches. one for each person her sister my son and daughter and for myself. I had decided to put my wifes ashes on to the twins grave. she lost them in 1987. it was no ones fault. she had gone full term. only for the twins to be still born. I just thought it was the right thing to do.. on a personal level I konow people say they brought them home for EOL care.  You have to be mentally prepared and physically fit.

As much as it pains me to say this, Once the wife had died, I knew the cancer she had could no  longer harm her. she died 6 weeks after she was diagnosed. Anyone who has gone through watching a loved one pass away will understand.  It's coming up to a year in July. and I still miss her even more now.

All I can say is I hope you find the strenth when the time comes, my thoughts are with you.