I'm sorry that your Dad is going through this.my mum was diagnosed last week before she was diagnosed she had stopped eating. We called the ambulance and the roller coaster started.last week the doctors told my mum while on her own that she had stomach cancer and was going to die,well that's how she put it.she should never of been told while alone on a ward .it messed with her head .when she came out of hospital still not eating and then refused fluids said it made her feel sick.we have tried everything. She has always been a coffee drinker with milk but she wouldn't drink it. So we tried black coffee which she nows drinks some and we also use dhyerlite which she drinks about 400mls.her tastes have changed and no longer likes sweet things. It might be worth offering your dad tea without milk.maybe it's the smell .who knows we have just started this journey and due to the weight loss she can't have chemotherapy they say till she builds her body up .which is hard when she won't eat.i feel your pain and helplessness you are going through. It's so hard seeing someone you love go through this .they have given my mum anti sick pills which seem to be helping as before the 400mls she had a week on just a sip here and there.i pray they can give her chemotherapy. I will pray for you and your dad. X

Hi

I'm really sorry about your dad it's awful really is.

I know what you going through my husband has advanced stomach cancer inoperable 

He got diagnosed in January up to now he's had 3 radio and 2 chemo coudnt have a 3rd cycle as he has been suffering with sickness really bad even when he stopped the chemo.

Palliative care have been great they have been trying to get on top of he's antisickness meds he has a driver fitted so all meds go through that.

However tday we got the devastating news that the chemo hasn't worked and the reason for all the sickness is the cancer is blocking the stomach so he had to have a stent fitted next week.

Our cancer nurse said that they won't do anymore chemo so I'm really worried what's going to happen now. We will speak to ongulist on Tuesday. 

As for your dad he should have a Macmillan nurse we only got ours 2 days ago she's brilliant and really understanding for your dad and rest of family.

He's your dad too so you need to do what you think is best for him.

It is really difficult to get cancer patients to eat and drink as they lose they taste.

I just kept trying with my husband with different drinks and now he is drinking quite well.

When did your dad get diagnosed? 

You really need to get intouch with Macmillan cancer support they do everything you need they all like the middle man they deal with GPS district nurses chemist and hospitals for you .

Sorry for the long message 

I'm here if you want to chat 

Take care m x

Hi Busby, thanks for responding to my call for help. I'm so sorry to hear about your husband. My Dad was diagnosed in November that he had cancer & he didn't tell anyone cos he is really private & didn't want to ruin Christmas for us. They put the camera in 30 December & said we are sorry there is nothing we can do for you only palliative Chemotherapy & radio for spine.

I'm really worried about him not drinking cos dehydration is really serious. I hope it's the nausea making not want to drink and not that he has given up. Right, talking to you has made my mind up. Im getting McMillan involved cos he is only suffering & wouldn't tell you if he was in angony. So someone needs to step in & say you need palliative care right away.

If you don't mind me asking, what drugs is your husband on? I do hope your husband gets his strength back & with the help of McMillan they can start his chemo again. No one outside immediate family knows so it's good to get some of this off my chest. Thank you & let's keep in touch x

Hi Kez, thanks for responding. I sent you a very long reply before. Did you not receive it? It's not showing on the page.

Im sorry to hear about your Mum. How do the doctors know it's terminal so fast? Has she been tested already and had camera inside and been for CT scans & MRI. Let's hope the doctor has jumped the gun. If you don't mind me asking how old is your Mum? And is she fit other than the cancer? The reason I ask is my Dad is 84, but was really fit. We worked until he was 78. He has lasted 6 months. The doc said you could last 2 months or you could last a year. He said he probably had the stomach cancer since last April but its one of the hardest cancer's to detect. It's good to talk cos I never thought of dhyerlite. 

My Dad is the same anything sweet knocks him sick even the smell. So he is living on ice cream at the moment & dairy milk chocolate. You just got to keep on at your mum to eat & drink. Let's keep in touch cos you & Busby below are the only people I have spoken to about this outside the immediate family. And it's killing me!!

He rang his older brother in Ireland the other day to wish him happy birthday & never told him. He is funny like that x

Hi 

I'm really glad you are going to get intouch with Macmillan I think you will have to get a refaral from he's GP or cancer nurse specialist but they are really quick to sort it .

Your dad sounds like my husband doesn't want to upset anyone by telling them

You need to tell him the district nurse cancer nurse specialist will make him go to hospital to be put on a drip to get get fluids down him .

They told my husband that then he did keep up with he's fluids drinking is more important than food really.

My husband was having a lot of milkshakes which is really good with full fat milk and cream .

My husband is on steroids a antisickness drug called metoclopramide the Macmillan nurse had also give him a new antisickness drug which she swears by I'm not sure what it is called but I will find out for you .

My husband is very stubborn but he knows he had to accept everything they throw at him .

I have just left the hospital an hour ago I have been very lucky the cancer nurse specialist made sure that I can see him when I want has in a side ward and I have had both covid jabs 

It is so hard to see a person you love go through this evil disease but you have to try to be strong for them.

Keep me updated please

Look after your dad and yourself  

Take care m x

Hi Mark

Its a really tricky situation about your daughter telling her. Bloody Facebook I hate it me .

You need to talk to your dad explain the situation.

It's awful because your daughter needs to know really 

Easier said than done I know 

You take care m x

Hi I didn't receive the message. My mum is only 73 ,she had the camera and scans the cancer T4 N2 M1  which has gone onto the liver .at the moment she is in the frame mind of shock and doesn't want to help herself. Is so sad to she a strong woman giving up when the fight should just be starting. We have a macmillian Dr coming Monday to speak to us.so you really should get them on board as they can help make things easier for your dad and family. I find my self getting angry most of the time for the fact she seems in a pity party mood most the time  yes please stay in touch. They think she had it since September 2020 but can they really tell.stomach cancer is the hardest to find until its in the advanced stages grrrr . I want to scream and shout .  Does your dad have alot of wind ? Is he moving around etc. If only she ate and built herself up she could have more of a chance to last longer and have a better quality of life. Big hugs take care x

Hi Kez, my dad doesn't have wind and is not moving around like he use to you. He is just really struggling with nausea from the Chemotherapy and his taste buds keep changing. Hope the McMillan doctor can put your mum's mind at ease a bit & make her realise how important it is to carry on eating. You also need to look after yourself & try not to get to stressed. I know that is easier said than done. I will have my fingers crossed for you both on Monday. Take care x

Yeah I hate Facebook too. Never have liked it. Yes You're right, I really need to speak to my dad about my daughter because I don't want to find out last when it's too late. But my dad doesn't want her mum finding out & spreading the bad news. So it awful situation to be in. Thanks for the advice & look after yourself x