I'm sorry that your Dad is going through this.my mum was diagnosed last week before she was diagnosed she had stopped eating. We called the ambulance and the roller coaster started.last week the doctors told my mum while on her own that she had stomach cancer and was going to die,well that's how she put it.she should never of been told while alone on a ward .it messed with her head .when she came out of hospital still not eating and then refused fluids said it made her feel sick.we have tried everything. She has always been a coffee drinker with milk but she wouldn't drink it. So we tried black coffee which she nows drinks some and we also use dhyerlite which she drinks about 400mls.her tastes have changed and no longer likes sweet things. It might be worth offering your dad tea without milk.maybe it's the smell .who knows we have just started this journey and due to the weight loss she can't have chemotherapy they say till she builds her body up .which is hard when she won't eat.i feel your pain and helplessness you are going through. It's so hard seeing someone you love go through this .they have given my mum anti sick pills which seem to be helping as before the 400mls she had a week on just a sip here and there.i pray they can give her chemotherapy. I will pray for you and your dad. X

I'm sorry that your Dad is going through this.my mum was diagnosed last week before she was diagnosed she had stopped eating. We called the ambulance and the roller coaster started.last week the doctors told my mum while on her own that she had stomach cancer and was going to die,well that's how she put it.she should never of been told while alone on a ward .it messed with her head .when she came out of hospital still not eating and then refused fluids said it made her feel sick.we have tried everything. She has always been a coffee drinker with milk but she wouldn't drink it. So we tried black coffee which she nows drinks some and we also use dhyerlite which she drinks about 400mls.her tastes have changed and no longer likes sweet things. It might be worth offering your dad tea without milk.maybe it's the smell .who knows we have just started this journey and due to the weight loss she can't have chemotherapy they say till she builds her body up .which is hard when she won't eat.i feel your pain and helplessness you are going through. It's so hard seeing someone you love go through this .they have given my mum anti sick pills which seem to be helping as before the 400mls she had a week on just a sip here and there.i pray they can give her chemotherapy. I will pray for you and your dad. X

Hi Kez, thanks for responding. I sent you a very long reply before. Did you not receive it? It's not showing on the page.

Im sorry to hear about your Mum. How do the doctors know it's terminal so fast? Has she been tested already and had camera inside and been for CT scans & MRI. Let's hope the doctor has jumped the gun. If you don't mind me asking how old is your Mum? And is she fit other than the cancer? The reason I ask is my Dad is 84, but was really fit. We worked until he was 78. He has lasted 6 months. The doc said you could last 2 months or you could last a year. He said he probably had the stomach cancer since last April but its one of the hardest cancer's to detect. It's good to talk cos I never thought of dhyerlite. 

My Dad is the same anything sweet knocks him sick even the smell. So he is living on ice cream at the moment & dairy milk chocolate. You just got to keep on at your mum to eat & drink. Let's keep in touch cos you & Busby below are the only people I have spoken to about this outside the immediate family. And it's killing me!!

He rang his older brother in Ireland the other day to wish him happy birthday & never told him. He is funny like that x

Hi I didn't receive the message. My mum is only 73 ,she had the camera and scans the cancer T4 N2 M1  which has gone onto the liver .at the moment she is in the frame mind of shock and doesn't want to help herself. Is so sad to she a strong woman giving up when the fight should just be starting. We have a macmillian Dr coming Monday to speak to us.so you really should get them on board as they can help make things easier for your dad and family. I find my self getting angry most of the time for the fact she seems in a pity party mood most the time  yes please stay in touch. They think she had it since September 2020 but can they really tell.stomach cancer is the hardest to find until its in the advanced stages grrrr . I want to scream and shout .  Does your dad have alot of wind ? Is he moving around etc. If only she ate and built herself up she could have more of a chance to last longer and have a better quality of life. Big hugs take care x

Hi Kez, my dad doesn't have wind and is not moving around like he use to you. He is just really struggling with nausea from the Chemotherapy and his taste buds keep changing. Hope the McMillan doctor can put your mum's mind at ease a bit & make her realise how important it is to carry on eating. You also need to look after yourself & try not to get to stressed. I know that is easier said than done. I will have my fingers crossed for you both on Monday. Take care x

Thanks Mark, it's a stressing time for us all and our poor parents. But yes I hope they can help her with her mindset. Hope they give you dad some sickness pills as they may help.today she has had a lick of some yogurt. Just hate nagging all the time eat something, drink something etc    . I'm sure macmillian will help you also x

Sorry to hear about your mum . My dad is 55 and has just been diagnosed he was told alone aswell. Also at hospital while we didn't know why he was so ill a nurse had ask us if he was already having chemotherapy! Obviously to our shock and horror asked her what on earth is she talking about!  She said sorry my mistake!next day we are told he has terminal cancer . But the doctor told my dad alone ! No one should be told alone I think it's absolutely disgusting . 

Don't think you are nagging your mum to eat. You are only looking out for your mum & it's really important that she carries on eating x

Hello Kez1,

                 don't be too hard on your mum for being down,its a hell of a thing to take on board and tor the  treatment and recovery you are looking at years not months,so it focuses the mind when your start point is 73. l am now 7 yrs out from the start of my treatment for the same and the first 4 years were absolutely destructive,my start position was 13 years to the good and l am a working farmer and used to hard toil,long hours and a sheer blodyminded stubborness inherited from my mum. l have to tell you that l would likely reject any further treatment should it return,and l am still younger today by three years,and a year past 70 is equal to at least 3 of a younger person.

                                                                                                           Writing this l am in no way looking to discourage you,rather to give you an understanding of how great the challenge is so you are able to better understand your mums predicament and her need for patient considered support,

                 l can only wish that you both have the easiest journey possible whichever route you choose to travel, 

                          take care, 

                                             David

Hi David glad you are doing well .I'm sure you have travelled the journey to get were you are today .Well done for staying strong. I do hope once she has spoken to the macmillian Dr she will have a better understanding and that she can do as well as u .not sure if you had the advance stage she has ,but if you do it makes it look positive. We just need her to drink more and eat something we have tried many things. Tonight we are going to try pizza as she likes the smell and even if she had a tiny bit it's a start .let me know please if when you was going through the thick of it what foods you went too please. Anything I can do to help her through this journey .  Thank you for your message. Take care x

Hi Gem ,I'm sorry you and your dad also found out this way .totally shocking I think once they know you have cancer you should have a macmillian nurse come and see you right away. It may have saved my mum going into the dark place .we are trying hard to get her out of now.yep I feel like a nag lol drink please try and eat something.they say they can't operate and it will be only chemotherapy if she puts weight on.hopefully tomorrow after seeing the macmillian doctor it could make her feel positive. I hope now you also are getting help from the macmillian? If not get them on board.take care and keep in touch when u can 

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Yep totally agree Mark. We will try anything to help her.

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