Hi, 

Sorry to hear about your mum. My mum is in a similar situation. She is 52 and started experiencing pain, went to drs and hospitals. Scans show nothing. Eventually rushed to a&e in pain and having lost the function of her legs. She was diagnosed with cancer of unknown primary. She has been in a hospice for a few months now. I am only 26 and have the same feelings as you, so shocked at how she went from being so healthy to having an incurable cancer. You are not alone. 

K x

Thanks for all your replies but it gets worse 2 months after my mum died my dad was found in their bed with my mums brothers girlfriend by my brother 3 months after he's sold the house found another woman and now she's 4 month pregnant and moved in all this was know even before the year anniversary like what is going on with my dad me and my 3 siblings feel like orphans 

How do I get through all this seriously I may seem like I'm being ignorant to all your situations I really aren't and it's a bitter sweet cause I'm grateful we have something in common and we can support eachother but I'm so so so so sad we all have this in common it's heartbreaking and hits me with hearing any strangers situations.

Any advice would be grateful

Much love girlie's xxxx

Thanks for all your replies but it gets worse 2 months after my mum died my dad was found in their bed with my mums brothers girlfriend by my brother 3 months after he's sold the house found another woman and now she's 4 month pregnant and moved in all this was know even before the year anniversary like what is going on with my dad me and my 3 siblings feel like orphans 

How do I get through all this seriously I may seem like I'm being ignorant to all your situations I really aren't and it's a bitter sweet cause I'm grateful we have something in common and we can support eachother but I'm so so so so sad we all have this in common it's heartbreaking and hits me with hearing any strangers situations.

Any advice would be grateful

Much love girlie's xxxx

Hey. 

That sounds like an unimaginable year you're having. It must be devastating to have your world crash down like this. I could be wrong, but it's possible that the hole in your dad's life that was left behind by your mothers death was too vast for him to handle, and he couldn't bear it so ended up filling it as fast as he could. It's not a healthy approach to grief but it's one possibility. Darkness is difficult to live with for many people although running away from it ends up doing more harm than good as evident in your family's situation. This is, of course, a more pleasant explanation. 

There could be uglier explanations also, but i think perhaps you should write down all your questions and feelings in a letter, or in bullet points, then ask your dad to spend some time alone with him, and read out loud your letter/ all your questions.. Bear in mind that outcome of this might not be perfect - he might say things that hurt you, but by opening up the conversation and saying what is in your heart, you will have done your part, and can decide your next steps freely. Whether you get an understanding of the situation OR you simply get more of an understanding of who your father is, you will have communicated and put all your cards on the table. It will be hard so that's why i suggested writing it down. And try to stay calm during the conversation. Deep breaths. 

How old are you if you don't mind me asking ? You have every right to be upset over what your father did. I would be furious. It must have left a really bad taste in your mouth no doubt. The world will balance itself, and unfortunately it sounds like your dad is only hurting himself in the long run by hurting those around him. By talking to him with an open mind you are showing compassion because his actions right now might gather a lot of bad karma for him. 

Of course I don't know anything about the ins and outs of your relationship, so i can only judge based upon the information you've written. Try to bond with your siblings and make sure you all get to say what you feel from your heart. If you are able to release this thru communication, time will heal.

Your mother is being taken care of by mother nature, and she will take care of you too. Perhaps connecting with nature could help soothe the pain a little.

Take care x