When i first posted on this forum i was 16. My father had been diagnosed with throat cancer and i was scared. Since then cancer has plagued my life it has taken my gran and has consumed the life of my grandad. It is now taking my father away from me.
He was put into remission in 2019 and we were (obviously) over the moon. However only a year and a half later and he is struck with a diagnosis of brain cancer that has spread. He was shortly after that,he was given 6-12 months as an estimate to how long he had left. 12 months with treatment, 6 months without. He did a week of radio and a couple days of chemo when he got really ill and had to make the tough decision of not having treatment. As devestating as this was, i understood and respected the decision.
We are a week into the decision and he is bedbound, can barely drink and doesnt eat at all. It happened a lot quicker than the doctors thought and obviously some of this is due to having no food but it is happening so quick. What should be 5 months now, is coming to be 1 month if we are lucky. I am 18 years old. I dreamed of my dad with my grandchildren, being at my wedding, watching me grow and being proud if i became even half the man that he is. Now he wont see me turn 19.
I often wonder what i did so wrong, what my family did so wrong to deserve this. I obviously know that he answer is nothing but i cant grasp it. Its all happening so quick. Im greiving him before hes even gone and it sucks because i already miss him and he isnt even gone yet. No teenager should have to lose their dad. I just needed to get all of this off of my chest to people i know will either understand fully or to some capacity.
