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My dad has pancreatic cancer I can’t cope

Sarahs605
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I'm 43 years of age and my dad has pancreatic cancer, he's my rock , soul mate my everything I love him so much , he found out by the doctor in October time , had scans to confirm and he hasn't been back since , he's putting all his energy into god and staying positive , that god will heal him so he's not having any help , he was living of juicing but barely does that now. I went to see him yesterday at his home and he was sat on the sofa struggling to keep awake , he hasn't eaten anything and was barely drinking , he was having trouble swallowing and looked so weak , I told him to go to bed but he refused as he had a Christian event to go to today and had to get ready for that so I kissed my dad and left , ever since leaving dad I haven't stopped crying I can't concentrate and I feel like I'm entering a deep black hole , I've phoned the samararitens and talked to them but I'm mentally exhausted . I don't know what to do I'm so confused I just want my dad to stay alive please help as I can't prepare myself for what's going to happen , it's like a ticking time bomb where I can't handle anything at the moment thanks sarah 

  • Offline in reply to Christins

    Dad has come back from his Christian retreat he's asked for me to get him a over electric blanket as he's cold, so me and mum

    ard going over on Monday to help dad with whatever he wants , I spoke with him on the phone and he sounds really poorly his voice seems to be going haven't a clue why, do you know why dads loosing his voice ? Thanks Sarah x

  • Offline in reply to Sarahs605

    Hi Sarah, i am so pleased to hear your Dad has returned from his retreat. I have no idea why your Dad is losing his voice, maybe he is weary and is finding it difficult to speak !  An electric blanket sounds a lovely idea to keep him warm, my Dad liked a hot water bottle and a flask of tea by his bedside at night in case he woke, it saved him having to get up in the middle of the night or early in the morning. Is anyone with your Dad over the weekend if you are not going until Monday, carers or family maybe ? Also was the doctor able to help you ? x

  • Offline in reply to Christins

    Yeah it's great and dad will love the blanket , my dad has a 10 bedroomed house which he has converted into 2 houses so he does have neighbours , he lives in Leeds and me and my brother both live in Rotherham and Doncaster I'm a single mum but my brother is going to move into dads soon , dad won't have any careers or any help from outside either medictian because this retreat was for dad to talk to god and for god to heal him he's a born again Christian so he won't accept any help if that makes sense !! Me my mum and brother are going up Monday to help tidy the house and mum is going to go through paperwork with dad as that's what dad wants so we're helping as much as dad will let us.  My meds are helping it's just when I've seen dad I get upset as seing dad makes it all real so I'll probably be the same Monday night when I get home but be strong when I see dad if that makes any sense , thankyou for helping me your a great person x

  • Offline in reply to Sarahs605

    Morning Sarah, i am so pleased to hear you have medication and that is helping you, you have to look after yourself so you can be strong to help your Dad. Of course you have to respect your Dad's wishes as he continues along this path and all of what you say makes sense to me. It must be a comfort to know he has good neighbours and i am sure he is looking forward to seeing you all Monday. Take one day at a time you will come through this. I normally close my PC over the weekend but will leave it on and check it when i can. Take care be kind to yourself x

  • Offline in reply to Christins

    Thankyou for being so kind it's a massive help , dad sounds more positive today and his voice sounds better , I can't wait to see him on Monday and just do what he wants us all to do , have a great weekend and thanks for all your help x

  • Offline in reply to Sarahs605

    Hi Sarah

    So pleased to hear your Dad was sounding better, it's a long journey and he will have good days as well as not so good but lovely to hear his voice has recovered. How did your visit go ? i'm sure it was good for both of you to see each other. i have quite a busy week ahead but will check in with you when i can. Take care, remember take each day as it comes and look after yourself. x

  • Offline in reply to Christins

    Thanks so much I care to see dad yesterday and back today to help sort the house out it's a massive job but it's got to be done it's helping dad so it feels good , dad wants to try and eat proper meals blended up so that's what we're going to do next with the help from mum , thanks for your ongoing support x

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