Oh bless ya ... 

We all know the uncertainty of life when we get that crule cancer ... none of us know how this year will pan out ... so your not alone ... but my heart goes out to you and family ... cancer has no morals .. not age .. colour ... religion ... fit .. old or young ... it leaves no one out ... 

I just hope you fill whatever time , with hugs ... leave nothing unsaid ... make every day count ... that's what most of us try to do ... live a lifetime in each day ... try not to look ahead ... later the book Rio Ferdinand wrote about his journey .. and how he helped his kids through, may give you a little life line .

Sending you all vertual hugs ... and keep your daughter close, with gentle honesty ... when my little niece lost her step dad .. we all shared hugs and tears .. so she knew it was o.k to feel scared or cry ... walking this path, all of you hand in hand is what we we did ... she was only 14 too ... any time you need a chat or vent or say anything, you will always find there's someone right here ...  Chrissie

2019... Tomorrow's just another day through this terrible journey!

I lost my Wife at the end of November, she was 46 years old, never smoked, drank alcohol, or did anything to harm her body. Metastatic breast cancer on her lungs is what took her away like a thief.

Together for 22 years we made every day count, told each other we loved each other every day, and to be honest this was how it always had been between us even before she became ill. We were so in love!  We never left a word unsaid, and we just clicked together so well from day one, proper soul mates is what we were.

I am struggling with her loss so much that it is becoming unbearable now for me to deal with, constant exhaustion through crying, not sleeping because my mind is all over the place and I'm becoming frequently irritated with people telling me "she's not in pain anymore" , "times a healer", " we'll help you through it" etc etc.  How the hell is anything or anyone going to make this better?  Me and my wife fought so hard to beat this illness and it feels like that despite our best efforts weve done it all for nothing.  Its like a great big punch in the face that I've got to take because I can't do a damn thing bring her back or change any of it.

I have been referred for urgent counselling  (at my request) because I don't want to feel like this anymore, and those around me trying to help shouldn't have to face my angry outbursts.

Every day that I get further away from her passing, the worse I feel about it.  It's a proper head scrambler and I'm now signed off from work with stress related issues.  2018 was crap, and I think 2019 isn't going to be any different:(.

James