The messages I have read are so supportive ️
 

my dad is 67 and 4 weeks ago he was diagnosed with lung cancer and spinal metastases! He went in to hospital with a sudden increase in back pain which had bothered him for just 7 weeks. He is a heart transplant patient of 18 years and they have said he can't have chemotherapy due to kidney damage medication has caused. One of lower vertebrae collapsed with too much damage for cement procedure and surgery has been ruled out. Cancer has been detected in 2 other areas of his spine including his neck and also areas of his ribs. 
it has been a couple of weeks since biopsy but apparently still awaiting molecular studies to see if immunotherapy would be considered. He has just had a palliative blast of radiotherapy to his lower back which has massively helped pain management along with OxyContin and a brace. 
we are hoping he can return home for Christmas as he is starting to walk with a Zimmer frame but he lives alone and completely refuses his bed to be downstairs. Carers and commode etc is being arranged. He is to try stairs with physio tomorrow. 
but nobody is really indicating about how long he has and the Macmillan nurse indicated today he will be back on his push bike and out for walks. I feel bad that I am being negative but I don't want to not be realistic. I think my dad and sister are in denial and professionals are going along with it because it is so close to Christmas! 

 

So sorry to hear this. It is different for everyone, your Mum sounds like she's doing well. Signs to look for are tiredness and confusion. Mum was the brightest and full of life she had been in years 6 weeks before she passed,,it's so strange. I found the Macmillan nurses to be the best to advise me of the timeline for mum. I'm so sorry you're going through this during covid! It must be so much worse xx

Don't feel bad for feeling this way, you have to prepare in these situations. Try to enjoy any time you do have but I would feel the same in your shoes. Could you pull the nurses aside? 
Your dad seems to have been through the works, what a strong man he must be xx

Thank you for replying so soon! Covid makes the situation so much worse and makes me feel unable to get the support from people I would normally reach out to. It also makes it hard to get all the different professionals involved to actually sit and meet us and to talk to us. I will try my best to actually get someone to one side and ask questions more directly. Thank you x 

We are currently going through a similar think with my mum, she has had a really bad chest since July but due to her having copd etc the doctors were just giving her numerous antibiotics and steroids over the phone and never once gave her and appointment due to Covid regulations , she then lost her voice mid December doctor told us over the phone it was laryngitis do to her persistent chest infection, she also started with really bad back pain on Christmas Day but due to her having osteoporosis, fibromyalgia and arthritis they put it down to a bad back i fact her sick notes since November have simply stated "bad back and flu like symptoms" by last month she could hardly stand up, We wasn't happy with the doctors keep fobbing her off so we contacted 111 who sent an ambulance for her, we were told 3 weeks ago that she has lung cancer as due to the size of the tumour and also being so close to her heart there was nothing they could do, she also has spinal and skull metastasis which is the reason she can no longer even stand up, she has been having some confusion since  the day before she went in to hospital and is in a lot of pain with her back and  stomach (she is only 57), the original doctor who gave us the diagnosis pretty much said worst case scenario 3 months life expectation (his exact words) but seeing how poorly she is I don't believe she has anywhere near 3 months left, a different doctor I spoke to also said they agreed with me that ( well they said they was on the same page as me that she didn't have 3 months left), she also hasn't eaten hardly anything since before she went in to hospital (so probably 6 weeks now),am I right in thinking that 3 months plus is a crazy suggestion or is the doctor about right,  she is saying she is ok and isn't in pain even though she obviously is in a lot of pain, she refused oral pain relief while she was in hospital and told us that she just wanted to come home and would take her medication when she was at home, she has been home for 2 days and still refusing all medication whether it is us or the carers trying to give it to her, she even refusing for Any one to even so much as give her a wash, she is also getting annoyed when the carers are asking her if she is ok or if she wants anything and it's the same the district nurse, has anybody else experienced this with their family members 

Sorry to jump on your post, but i find your words very relatable. I'm so sorry to hear about your mum and grandma. 
 

I just wanted to ask, did they tell you 8-10cm is considered large? And does the size of the tumour have any impact on how long he'll live?
My dad was diagnosed on Friday just gone with lung cancer, and we've been told it's spread to both his lymphnodes and adrenal glands. It's only in his left lung at the moment, but the tumour itself is 51cm by 39 cm, that's incredibly gigantic in comparison to 8cm. He's only 59 and his symptoms came on since mid January, but he's stopped eating and is just sleeping all the time. 
 

The doctors told us theyre hopeful and optimistic that he can receive treatment to pro long his life, but haven't given us any form of time frame? They've booked him in for biopsies this week and a PET scan to make sure it's nowhere else, but I am desperate to know how long we we've got left with him. 
 

Were yet to be given any Macmillan nurse or anyone actually, just received the diagnosis and broken hearts. Do you know if there's a way of contacting these and whether were responsible for contacting them? 
 

I have to know an estimate on how long we've got left x
 

Dear friends, this has been a lovely thread and so honest but I just wanted to say my husband was diagnosed 4 years ago this month and is still here.  Stage 4 lung cancer from the diagnosis we were given 7% survival rate but Norman took every bit of treatment they offered, January last year liver mets were diagnosed and in his stomach wall the doctor patted me on the shoulder and said how sorry he was.  Our Oncologist had other plans though and offered immunotherapy and apart from lockdown we have had a year free of infections, pneumonia and all the other illness associated with lung cancer, they have promised him one more year but he celebrates his 75th birthday in four days time so please don't all despair the minute you hear stage 4 lung cancer, everyone is different so have some hope and don't despair.  Much love to you all and my heart goes out to those of you who have lost loved ones.  Carol xx

I am joining Carol's husband.I was diagnosed with mets in my lungs and liver in 2019 and after chemotherapy still there and good.Although after missed diagnosis I was diagnosed in October 2020 mets in my brain and I am still alive and going back to work hopefully in April after the vaccine.I am 43 but planning to change hospital for more and better treatment. 

So just fight for your treatment and ask questions because I gave up in 2019 but people here gave me strength and power.So whatever the onco tell about the time scale don't listen to her she is reading only from the computer. 

Denise

Well said Denise, I wish you all the good luck you deserve in your brave fight.  Carol x

This is a really lovely post that warmed my heart as it obviously has others. Thank you so much for taking the time to post and I am really sorry for the loss of someone who obviously was everything to you.

My mother in law has been given a narrow time frame. I get so upset before and after being in the house. When i'm with her, i think she doesnt need me breaking down being a mess. She knows though. I know she does. Its a relatively new diagnosis and i'm grateful i've been able to help with appointments etc. I miss her already though :( xx