Hi,

first of all all I am so sorry for the loss of your mum. I also lost mine September past to a stroke. Very fast and unexpected, broke me into a million pieces. You should be so proud of everything you did and how special you made her last days here. 

So im a bit scared and confused. My granda has just been diagnosed with lung cancer 3 weeks ago. He’s had his scans and CT and a bone scan. The tumor is 8cm at the bottom of his left lung, and has spread to the lymph nodes only on the left side mainly by his collar bone. There is potential it’s already gone to his adrenal gland but any and all spreading is so far confined to the left side. Bone scan came back all clear. Here is where the confusion begins, he is 78 and has a long list of health conditions so a biopsy is out of the question as is any kind of treatment. We haven’t been told a stage or anything at all to be honest. They just don’t know and have no way of finding out. Has anyone ever been in this situation and what was the outcome? I just want to know how long I have left with him. He’s my everything. I don’t have a dad and never did, he is the only dad iv ever known. 

It started with pain in the shoulder 3 weeks ago to which we got him seen and they found the tumor. The hospice nurses are now involved in his care and have started him on some pretty heavy medication which had to be increased the next week. So he’s on 10mg morphine tablets twice a day and he takes oxycodne liquid as and when he needs it for his breathing. 

This is where I need advice the most. He’s gone downhill so fast. The nurses say it’s the meds but I don’t know I’m scared. Before this he walked with a walking stick and could easily move around for a short period of time and could always do everything for himself like going to bed, the toilet, shower etc. Since he’s been on the new meds and we got the diagnoses he can’t even get out of his recliner chair by himself or even reposition himself. He can’t walk without someone holding him at all, not even 2 steps. This is so scary and he has detoriated so so fast with his movement and breathing. Is this normal on these meds?? 

Please someone help, I’m so scared

I'm so so sorry to hear this!

get on the phone to the Macmillan nurses, they are the best to give you a bit of a time frame. Ask them to be straight with you.

It's very hard to tell with your granda's age as any infection will affect his mobility. However, my mum was unable to have a biopsy and I'm sure her tumour was 8-10cm and they automatically said this was stage 4 as it was large. They didn't know of any spread which is another factor they use to decide stages, any spread is stage 4.

I don't want to worry you and I'm no expert I'm going by my experience, but I wanted brutal honesty so I'm offering the same to you.

My mum had 9 weeks, my nan (her mum) died of the same and had 6 months. They kept telling me "a few short months" but in the last couple of weeks they were able to tell me it would be soon. 
 

Speak to the nurses and ask for brutal honesty. There is only so much they can go by but as they get to know him more, they will be able to judge better.

This forum helped me so much, if there is anything you need, feel free to message me xx

I'm so so sorry to hear this!

get on the phone to the Macmillan nurses, they are the best to give you a bit of a time frame. Ask them to be straight with you.

It's very hard to tell with your granda's age as any infection will affect his mobility. However, my mum was unable to have a biopsy and I'm sure her tumour was 8-10cm and they automatically said this was stage 4 as it was large. They didn't know of any spread which is another factor they use to decide stages, any spread is stage 4.

I don't want to worry you and I'm no expert I'm going by my experience, but I wanted brutal honesty so I'm offering the same to you.

My mum had 9 weeks, my nan (her mum) died of the same and had 6 months. They kept telling me "a few short months" but in the last couple of weeks they were able to tell me it would be soon. 
 

Speak to the nurses and ask for brutal honesty. There is only so much they can go by but as they get to know him more, they will be able to judge better.

This forum helped me so much, if there is anything you need, feel free to message me xx

Thank you for getting back to me. I finally feel better knowing I’m not alone and this does happen to many people. 

His macmillan nurses are to come out the end of next  week so I’m going to call tomorrow and see if they can come out any earlier. I will take your advice and ask them as we as a family just want to know what we are dealing with. 

Thank you you for being honest. This is exactly why I came here, I need the truth no matter how difficult it may be to hear. I’m so sorry about your mum & your Nan. I can’t even begin to imagine. 

I did look online to see if I could get a stage and I also came up with stage 4 as the tumor is larger than 8cm and it has spread although the drs will not confirm a stage so I thought someone here may be able to help and I was right. 

I do think the meds are making him weak and confused as he’s seems to be getting back to himself a bit the longer he’s been on them. I’m hoping this will settle down soon. Did your mum or nan take morphine tablets? 

Thank you so so much, honestly I know it probably wasn’t easy to write your reply but I appreciate it more than you could know. Im engaged and had no plans of a wedding since my mum passed, but I always had wanted my granda to give me away so I needed to know if this could even be possible as I really want him to be there so now I know I need to plan ASAP. 

Xx

Sorry to jump on your post, but i find your words very relatable. I'm so sorry to hear about your mum and grandma. 
 

I just wanted to ask, did they tell you 8-10cm is considered large? And does the size of the tumour have any impact on how long he'll live?
My dad was diagnosed on Friday just gone with lung cancer, and we've been told it's spread to both his lymphnodes and adrenal glands. It's only in his left lung at the moment, but the tumour itself is 51cm by 39 cm, that's incredibly gigantic in comparison to 8cm. He's only 59 and his symptoms came on since mid January, but he's stopped eating and is just sleeping all the time. 
 

The doctors told us theyre hopeful and optimistic that he can receive treatment to pro long his life, but haven't given us any form of time frame? They've booked him in for biopsies this week and a PET scan to make sure it's nowhere else, but I am desperate to know how long we we've got left with him. 
 

Were yet to be given any Macmillan nurse or anyone actually, just received the diagnosis and broken hearts. Do you know if there's a way of contacting these and whether were responsible for contacting them? 
 

I have to know an estimate on how long we've got left x
 

Hi,i want to talk to someone who will be honest with me,my mum was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer 18 months ago, it was also found in her rib,she has had emunotherpy  and radiation,  she has been on morphine tablets twice a day and the oromorph when needed,we went to the hospital last week to be told it is now in her liver and is active( dont know what that means).

They suggested she goes into a Hospice with the intention of getting her meds right so she has no pain.she is very stubborn and has not been telling them because she says they too busy and doesn't want to bother them lol.

They have given her stronger oramorph but still she needs more,can any one tell me if we are coming to the end ?