Hi ZoeLouise My mum passed away only 3 weeks ago, like you I was my mums full time carer and we were managing just fine until the month before she passed away. She had lung cancer with brain mets and mums dr had warned me that mums death would not be peaceful. my mum was living with me and like your mum wanted to be at home and only go to hospice if I couldn't help her anymore. Mum went downhill rapidly and her mobility was getting so bad even getting to and from toilet was exhausting her. Mums breathing got so bad that she would panic and I'd have to call out of hours through the night to give her meds to help clear secretions and give her somthing for anxiety. Mums macmillan nurse and Gp suggested hospice as it was extremely tough on both of us that last week at home and said she shouldn't have to suffer the way she was. The hardest part was going with my mum to the hospice knowing that would be her last journey. My mum passed away 8 days later peacefully and comfortably with the right care and I can honestly say I'm so glad she was in there and I know if she'd been at home things would have been so different, I could never have nursed her the way the nurses at the hospice did with such wonderful care and knowing I could just buzz for help when mum became anxious and they were there in seconds to help her and keep her calm. I wouldn't have got those precious 8 days of being my mums daughter again and not her exhausted 24hr carer I didn't like to bring up hospice care to my mum either as I know it's not what she wanted. I think when the time comes you'll know in your heart what's the right thing to do for you and your mum and try not to feel guilty with the choice you make. For me and my mum I know hospice care in her final days was definitely the right choice. Take care Zoe

Hi ZoeLouise My mum passed away only 3 weeks ago, like you I was my mums full time carer and we were managing just fine until the month before she passed away. She had lung cancer with brain mets and mums dr had warned me that mums death would not be peaceful. my mum was living with me and like your mum wanted to be at home and only go to hospice if I couldn't help her anymore. Mum went downhill rapidly and her mobility was getting so bad even getting to and from toilet was exhausting her. Mums breathing got so bad that she would panic and I'd have to call out of hours through the night to give her meds to help clear secretions and give her somthing for anxiety. Mums macmillan nurse and Gp suggested hospice as it was extremely tough on both of us that last week at home and said she shouldn't have to suffer the way she was. The hardest part was going with my mum to the hospice knowing that would be her last journey. My mum passed away 8 days later peacefully and comfortably with the right care and I can honestly say I'm so glad she was in there and I know if she'd been at home things would have been so different, I could never have nursed her the way the nurses at the hospice did with such wonderful care and knowing I could just buzz for help when mum became anxious and they were there in seconds to help her and keep her calm. I wouldn't have got those precious 8 days of being my mums daughter again and not her exhausted 24hr carer I didn't like to bring up hospice care to my mum either as I know it's not what she wanted. I think when the time comes you'll know in your heart what's the right thing to do for you and your mum and try not to feel guilty with the choice you make. For me and my mum I know hospice care in her final days was definitely the right choice. Take care Zoe