Dad terminal prostate cancer - update

hi I originally posted in another thread on 'Introduce yourself'. I haven't been on here for a while.

my dad was diagnosed with terminal prostate cancer back in January (2016) - he's been on hormone therapy since then. He was told the cancer had spread to his lymph nodes and lungs and that it was incurable. They couldn't say how long he ahead left to live. He couldnt have chemo as he has a history of stroke, high blood pressure. He had a bone scan sometime in the summer which came back clear. However, he had another appointment recently and he's been told that the cancer has now spread to the bone on one area of his spine in the lower back and it has spread even further in his lungs. I was dreading it spreading to his bone and this can be the worse. :((( however, he does seem ok physically for now, he's not in pain but he keeps suffering from incontinence problems at both ends, mainly urgency to urinate and not making it in time. This is getting worse. So he's going to be put on aberitarone and steroids as well to help control the cancer but has he already suffers with diabetes and a history of stroke, high blood pressure, this new drug will make all of that worse, but it will control his cancer more. So its a gamble and more added pressure and worry. Dreading what's to come, and this latest news has just knocked us all as well. Taking each day as it comes :(

Parents
  • Hi there

    I have just seen your posts from March and I am so sad to hear about the really difficult time you and your family are going through right now. My dad was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer August 2015, and he underwent similar treatment to yours. He did not respond well to treatment and very sadly died in August this year. It was the hardest year of my life and it continues to be difficult on a daily basis, but there are days when I feel somewhat peaceful and able to cope with everything that has happened. I've found professional counselling has been really helpful in giving me some clarity to my thoughts and dealing with the waves of emotions that comes with a life changing event like this. I just want to reassure you that no matter how bad it is, you will be able to deal with it. Please do message me directly if you want to chat at all. Take care and good luck to your Dad

    Nikki

  • Thank you Nikki. I'm really sorry about your dad, it's not easy for anyone to lose a parent, and it's a comfort on here to see and know others are going through the same. I know I will fall apart when it happens and no idea how or when. I don't want to see him deteriorate or be in pain and also scared in case he goes quickly without any warning. Everyday at work I'm watching my phone and can't cope but in front of my dad and my mom and sister I look and act totally fine. If you don't mind telling me (even in private message) what you're dad went through and what you and your family went through? I know everyone has a different journey but I personally know others whose parents have died of cancer but they were in their 40s when it happened and they were already married with kids etc and I know there are children out there who've lost their parents to cancer - it doesn't matter what age or relation or how, we all end up grieving. But I've not known anyone my age and whose dad has/had prostate cancer. I know of other men who's had it and got through it but I hate to say it, I resent them in a way and think why can't my dad overcome it too. My sister is only early 20s and think she'll be the only person who will share the same pain. We won't get to have our dad see us married, have kids. And other people,I know have recently got married or are planning weddings and I resented them too, jealousy tbh! They get their dads at their weddings, we won't. I've never known or personally seen anyone with cancer so no idea what to expect. I know I will fall apart when it happens but will be strong for my dad, mom and sister. Sorry for your loss lots of hugs xxxx

Reply
  • Thank you Nikki. I'm really sorry about your dad, it's not easy for anyone to lose a parent, and it's a comfort on here to see and know others are going through the same. I know I will fall apart when it happens and no idea how or when. I don't want to see him deteriorate or be in pain and also scared in case he goes quickly without any warning. Everyday at work I'm watching my phone and can't cope but in front of my dad and my mom and sister I look and act totally fine. If you don't mind telling me (even in private message) what you're dad went through and what you and your family went through? I know everyone has a different journey but I personally know others whose parents have died of cancer but they were in their 40s when it happened and they were already married with kids etc and I know there are children out there who've lost their parents to cancer - it doesn't matter what age or relation or how, we all end up grieving. But I've not known anyone my age and whose dad has/had prostate cancer. I know of other men who's had it and got through it but I hate to say it, I resent them in a way and think why can't my dad overcome it too. My sister is only early 20s and think she'll be the only person who will share the same pain. We won't get to have our dad see us married, have kids. And other people,I know have recently got married or are planning weddings and I resented them too, jealousy tbh! They get their dads at their weddings, we won't. I've never known or personally seen anyone with cancer so no idea what to expect. I know I will fall apart when it happens but will be strong for my dad, mom and sister. Sorry for your loss lots of hugs xxxx

Children
No Data