Hi VickyD

I noticed your post because of the title. Anticipatory grief is exactly what I feel I am experiencing right now. My Mum has secondary and terminal breast cancer in her bones. After a brave 3 year fight it now looks like there is no further fight to be had and she has gone significantly downhill in the last 2 months.

I don't know how old you are, I'm 32 and I have no idea how I will cope when she is gone. I worry about my Dad, I cry when I think about her not having seen me get married or have children. I cry spontaneously all the time and none of my friends understand. My boyfriend does what he can, but he doesn't understand either. My biggest fear is that I just won't cope when she dies and I panic that I won't be any use to anyone. I feel like I am grieving now, even though she is still here.

It's strange that we both sought comfort through this medium at the same time. After a hard day at work and some further bad news from today's test results I have spent all my Friday night in tears. Lying here now unable to sleep, which is why I sought out these message boards for the first time. 

I don't think I can offer any words of advice, it sounds as if we are in the same position, trying our best to muddle out way through. However, it is considerable comfort to me to know that I am not alone. I hope it is the same for you.

Whilst it is hard to believe when people say it to me, you are stronger than you know. It will be hard, but we will both get through some how.

I hope you're ok xxxx

Hey! I just found your post now and I'm in the exact same situation as you were those years ago. I have the exact feelings and reasons for regret and sadness. If you see this message can you please tell me how you are now. I need to know that there is hope at the other end of it all. I hope you're somewhere out there and you learnt to be happy again. X

Hey! I just found your post now and I'm in the exact same situation as you were those years ago. I have the exact feelings and reasons for regret and sadness. If you see this message can you please tell me how you are now. I need to know that there is hope at the other end of it all. I hope you're somewhere out there and you learnt to be happy again. X