15months after loosing my brother now my dad is terminal

I never usually use things like this and I have been offered counciling many times but I just feel so anxious and I don't know how I will cope with this. 

15 months ago I lost my brother to terminal bowel cancer it was the hardest time of my life. My brother was only 30 when he died only 5months after he was diagnosed my father was my rock at the time he kept me my mum and my sister together and pulled us through. Also my brother who was mainly in hospital for the majority of his cancer battle my dad stayed with him constantly sleeping in a arm chair every night by his side. It really was the worst time of my life. 

Just as I was starting to control my grief and start to feel happiness again life has decided to *** on me from a great height again as I now have to cope with the prospect of loosing my dad and I just don't feel like I can cope without him.

My dads just turned 50 he's been diagnosed with lung cancer (small cell lung cancer) it's also in his lymph nodes his spine and liver. And I just don't feel like I can go through this again I no that makes me sound selfish but experiencing this before and knowing what's around the corner I can feel anxiety and depression creeping in I'm finding it difficult to even get out of bed. Everyone keeps telling me to stay strong and enjoy the time I have now with him but I can't seem to stop my mind straying to what's to come.life is so unfair! I just feel cursed and that me and my family for some reason can't ever be happy and that I must not deserve happiness.

I'm so worried about my mum shes lost her son and now the prospect of loosing my dad and her being on her own and I just can't imagine my life without my dad he's my rock he's who I turn to for everything.

 

Parents
  • Hi there, life sure is s@&t at times. I'm sorry you lost your brother so young and now your dad is unwell too. It's hard to stay strong and its your turn to be a rock to your dad the best you can. You sound like a strong family. I lost my dad to the same as your dad and you seem to grieve at diagnosis as your mind runs away with you on how life is going to be. Humans amaze me how we manage to go on despite how cruel life is, we find some sort of inner strength and plod on. I was never prepared to loose my dad and at nearly 5 months in still struggle each day without him. Each day I still feel shocked and question what happened and how. I hope you get to spend some more precious moments with your dad. Take care x

Reply
  • Hi there, life sure is s@&t at times. I'm sorry you lost your brother so young and now your dad is unwell too. It's hard to stay strong and its your turn to be a rock to your dad the best you can. You sound like a strong family. I lost my dad to the same as your dad and you seem to grieve at diagnosis as your mind runs away with you on how life is going to be. Humans amaze me how we manage to go on despite how cruel life is, we find some sort of inner strength and plod on. I was never prepared to loose my dad and at nearly 5 months in still struggle each day without him. Each day I still feel shocked and question what happened and how. I hope you get to spend some more precious moments with your dad. Take care x

Children
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