Dear Chutney

I am so sorry that you feel like you do.  It must be awful for you.  Do you have family and/or friends for support at all?  I know there's nothing I can say that will make any difference to the way you feel but please try to remember that this group, although I've only been a member for a couple of days, seems to have some very nice and understanding people in it who seem only too willing to chat and offer advice, for which I'm very grateful.

Battling Babe xx

Hi Chutney ..... I am sorry to hear you are feeling so down.  Its ironic how we all feel so differently isnt it - some going through a mountain of treatment to just be around a few months longer and some deciding to get it over with asap.

I have read your profile and it is apparent that your suicidal thoughts and depression were there before your cancer diagnosis. and I wonder if you have ever asked for medical help and/or counselling to assist you with this?  Being in a difficult relationship wont help, and maybe you need to iron out a few issues there too.

I hope you try to source some help with your depression and find the strength to cope with your disease in whatever way you choose.  As BB says, come to the forum whenever needed for support x

Hi Chutney,

Sorry to hear that you're feeling depressed. It isn't surprising given the prognosis you have, combined with a history of depression. The situation we find ourselves in a bl**dy depressing at the best of times. 

You really need to get some good professional advice, as it seems probable that the depression is affecting your ability to make informed choices. If you're not already on anti-depressives please talk to your GP about how you're feeling and if the GP thinks they are appropriate give them a try. They won't make your problems go away, but they might take the edge of the worry and anguish.

I am in a similar position to you and I was a pain in the *** demanding that they started my chemo as soon as possible. In my view it wasn't a last resort but my first and only line of defence - surgery and radiotherapy had been ruled out. There's nothing else except prayer (I'm an atheist, so you can see my issues with that approach) or finding a herbal miracle cure (I'm a skeptic who thinks everything from green tea or brown seaweed from Pacific Islands to cannabis oil is a money making scam, so you can see my issues with that approach too).

I understand and I share your mental anguish about having a terminal prognosis, you know as well as I do that you need to find a way through this. There is a lot of scope for meaningful living, but you need to break free of the worst of your depression if you ever going to put some meaning back into your life.

Good luck - please keep posting and chatting
Dave
X  

Hello chutney,

I see you have had the warmest of welcomes from our members and that they have given you some truly excellent advice.

If you feel things are getting too much for you, perhaps you could also give Samaritans a call? You can find their website here and you can talk to them 24 hours a day. If you want to talk about your treatment options, I would also strongly recommend you give our expert nurses a call on 0808 800 4040, Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm. It's a free number and they will be able to guide you and answer all your questions.

Best wishes,

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Thanks everyone for the supportive replies.

I'm on meds for the depression, the third type since I was diagnosed in 2013, but they have little or no effect. I know meds don't work for everyone, so I guess I'm in that minority.

I won't burden you with more details of my existence.

All the best.

Hi chutney,

I just wanted to say you are definitely not burdening us - and you know what they say, that a problem shared is a problem halved. Our friendly community is here for you at any time and your experience can also be useful to others here who may find themselves in the same boat as you.

So a very big welcome and I hope you will enjoy using this forum!

Lucie

dear chutney so so sorry, i know what you must be going through i lost my mum last december to ovarian cancer which we did not know she had, she was already in remmsion for early stage breast cancer since 2011, but it seems early treatment does not stop cancer from coming back, mum only lasted three weeks in hospital before she passed, mum said she did not want chemo, because she did not want to lose her hair but in the end she could not have any treatment because the cancer had already spread upwards to her neck, just try and get some support, take care oggi