Hi Janna, 

I lost my dad a month ago, he was 52 as well. I didn't ever imagine living so much of my life without him - I am 22 so similar to you - and the cancer was very sudden to the point that it was too late to do anything when they diagnosed, which meant it was a huge shock. I completely understand your fear and grief at this whole situatio 

Dad spent the whole time he knew about his cancer in hospital, and I remember the stress and anxiety when I visited him every day - would he be in pain today? Would he have lost even more weight? Will there be more bad news from the doctor? There were good days and bad days and I learnt to cherish the good ones.  But eventually it got to the point where one weekend he just couldn't get any better - the three days are just a blur to me now. He was a vibrant, chubby, hilarious man and he spent the time in hospital losing huge amounts of weight and in a lot of pain. I am distraught that he is gone but I am comforted that he is in a much better place, wherever that is, and that he passed away knowing how much we all loved him. After he passed, I went from being terrified and upset to an almost peaceful grief that he was OK now.

The whole situation is so cruel and unfair, and nothing can be done to stop it or change it (something I still struggle to accept) but you will come through this on the other side. All my love to you and the rest of your family.

Thanks you all for replying,

It's so awful to hear your heartbreaking stories. However it does bring comfort knowing others understand. The silent cancers are the worst. We don't even get the opportunity to accept the diagnosis,  let alone when they actually go. 

The hospital part was awful,  everyday going to see my mum rock backwards and forwards in agony. She would struggle to find a comfortable position. Everyday was so heartbreaking. 

On the 14th September it will be exactly 2 months. Adjusting to life is so strange. Just something I never expected I would have to do at this age. I have just thrown myself back into work. I am very good at putting a brave face on even though my heart is so broken. I have lost my bestfriend,  my life will never be the same again. I keep thinking ' I must tell mum about that!' Then I realise. 

I just hope it gets easier. Just as the first stages of grief subside the immense feeling of loss sets in. It's slow and painful, but I know I can get through it because everyone else on here has or is getting through it. 

Thank you for all the support,

Janna 

Thanks you all for replying,

It's so awful to hear your heartbreaking stories. However it does bring comfort knowing others understand. The silent cancers are the worst. We don't even get the opportunity to accept the diagnosis,  let alone when they actually go. 

The hospital part was awful,  everyday going to see my mum rock backwards and forwards in agony. She would struggle to find a comfortable position. Everyday was so heartbreaking. 

On the 14th September it will be exactly 2 months. Adjusting to life is so strange. Just something I never expected I would have to do at this age. I have just thrown myself back into work. I am very good at putting a brave face on even though my heart is so broken. I have lost my bestfriend,  my life will never be the same again. I keep thinking ' I must tell mum about that!' Then I realise. 

I just hope it gets easier. Just as the first stages of grief subside the immense feeling of loss sets in. It's slow and painful, but I know I can get through it because everyone else on here has or is getting through it. 

Thank you for all the support,

Janna 

Hi Janna

I know exactly how you would feel regarding the hospital treatment as my mum have iv stage lung cancer and it spread to her bone in her arm. She's suffering terribly right now but she's in china and I just cannot be there right now! Her condition has deteriorated so much in the last 48 hours and she is in so much pain and even morphine injection doesn't really help to ease it a bit! I'm just crying my eyes out! One minute I'm dreading for the bad news but the next minute I would rather to hear the bad news as I know that she's no longer in pain! I'm trying to fly out tomorrow to be there with her and my dad and my younger brother, but I truelly do not know whether she should wait for me or not as she's in so much pain!