dear janna i am still coming to terms of losing my mother last december to ovarian cancer she was seventy four, four years ago she was diagnosed with breast cancer but luckly they got the lump out before it had spread, so i thought everything would be alright from then, but sadly cancer comes back after time and they it seems they is no stopping it, i read so my stories on here from people much younger age then my mum and then i feel guilty because my mum has lived much longer then others, we did not know mum had ovarian cancer till it was too late , its known as a silent diease and you do not get any symptoms untill it has reached a advanced stage, i know they still have not found a early detection test for it yet, which is quite worrying, end of the day we still have to watch the  advert which says one day we will beat cancer soon, but it seems to be dragging on for years with no results. take care oggi

Thank you for all your replies.

Sadly Mum passed away on 14th July last month. It's strange - even though we were expecting it, it was such a shock when she actually went. My poor mum, it is heartbreaking. 

Just as the shock is being to wear ever so slightly, the feeling of loss is becoming unbearable. I have cried everyday lately. It's been awful.​

Hi Janna,

We are so sorry to hear your mum has passed away. Our sincere condolences to you and all your family. 

Don't hesitate to keep coming to this forum anytime you feel tearful or anytime you want to talk to others who have also lost a loved one.

Warmest wishes,

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

dear janna sorry about your mum its hard to take when your mum gets diagnosed and get told you have not got long, i remember we was all in the room last december and after the oncolegist explained to my mum what they found on the scan mum knew it was cancer and asked how long i have got, he told her he did not know , so we thought mum would get treatment but atfer they drained four bags of horrible blown fluid from her and sent for testing it come back that the bags contained cancer cells and then a few days later he told my sister who was there that we were looking at weeks, but mum died three days later, it turned out the cancer had already spread up to her neck, its so hard when you take mum in to hospital not knowing she would last  only three weeks, but ovarian cancer is a silent diease and its too late to do anything when you do not get any symptoms till late stages, i have been on this forum for a good few months and i feel for every one with there loses, so far my mum has been the oldest by a good margin, compaired to others, but the dam cancer can strike at any age which seems unfair, eight months on i find i have good days and bad days, but i can understand how you are feeling because it has not been long, all i can say take each day at a time and just think of the happy memories we have spent with our mums and the do not have to suffer any more. take care  oggi

Hi Janna, 

Pretty uncanny, I've never used any support in dealing with my father's cancer but it's so similar and I've found myself googling around to seek advice/support but also help. I'm 22 and my Dad's 55.

My Dad first got cancer in his bowel before it spread to his lungs and liver. He finally beat cancer but with the worst luck in the world ended up getting it again in his lungs. To round up the story it's now spread everywhere and he's got a couple of months left tops. 

It's absolutely horrifying seeing your parent in such a weak state but you have to stay strong. Think less of what will inevitably happen and how you'll react and more about what you feel you need to discuss with them before it's too late. Us humans love trying to look into the future but in this case it's only going to get you down, I'm sure you'll find some way to cope when the time comes. Please remember you have so many people in this world who can support you!

Hi Janna, 

I lost my dad a month ago, he was 52 as well. I didn't ever imagine living so much of my life without him - I am 22 so similar to you - and the cancer was very sudden to the point that it was too late to do anything when they diagnosed, which meant it was a huge shock. I completely understand your fear and grief at this whole situatio 

Dad spent the whole time he knew about his cancer in hospital, and I remember the stress and anxiety when I visited him every day - would he be in pain today? Would he have lost even more weight? Will there be more bad news from the doctor? There were good days and bad days and I learnt to cherish the good ones.  But eventually it got to the point where one weekend he just couldn't get any better - the three days are just a blur to me now. He was a vibrant, chubby, hilarious man and he spent the time in hospital losing huge amounts of weight and in a lot of pain. I am distraught that he is gone but I am comforted that he is in a much better place, wherever that is, and that he passed away knowing how much we all loved him. After he passed, I went from being terrified and upset to an almost peaceful grief that he was OK now.

The whole situation is so cruel and unfair, and nothing can be done to stop it or change it (something I still struggle to accept) but you will come through this on the other side. All my love to you and the rest of your family.

Thanks you all for replying,

It's so awful to hear your heartbreaking stories. However it does bring comfort knowing others understand. The silent cancers are the worst. We don't even get the opportunity to accept the diagnosis,  let alone when they actually go. 

The hospital part was awful,  everyday going to see my mum rock backwards and forwards in agony. She would struggle to find a comfortable position. Everyday was so heartbreaking. 

On the 14th September it will be exactly 2 months. Adjusting to life is so strange. Just something I never expected I would have to do at this age. I have just thrown myself back into work. I am very good at putting a brave face on even though my heart is so broken. I have lost my bestfriend,  my life will never be the same again. I keep thinking ' I must tell mum about that!' Then I realise. 

I just hope it gets easier. Just as the first stages of grief subside the immense feeling of loss sets in. It's slow and painful, but I know I can get through it because everyone else on here has or is getting through it. 

Thank you for all the support,

Janna 

Hi Janna

I know exactly how you would feel regarding the hospital treatment as my mum have iv stage lung cancer and it spread to her bone in her arm. She's suffering terribly right now but she's in china and I just cannot be there right now! Her condition has deteriorated so much in the last 48 hours and she is in so much pain and even morphine injection doesn't really help to ease it a bit! I'm just crying my eyes out! One minute I'm dreading for the bad news but the next minute I would rather to hear the bad news as I know that she's no longer in pain! I'm trying to fly out tomorrow to be there with her and my dad and my younger brother, but I truelly do not know whether she should wait for me or not as she's in so much pain!