Hello. I wonder if anyone can advise me on how to help improve the mindset of my father who was recently diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer. Unfortunately he has become quite fatalistic,
He was diagnosed earlier this year after his health deteriorated very badly over a short period. Essentially, he'd dealt with the immediate symptoms of his cancer by reducing his fluid intake to the point that he became badly dehydrated and, in turn, malnourished. It was at this point, when his immediate health was very poor, that we finally got him to the doctor. It turns out he had been ignoring symptoms for two years.
The bad news is that his cancer has spread to the bone and is incurable.
The good news is that eating and drinking properly - together with hormonal therapy - have improved his immediate health greatly. He is close to his old weight again, is alert mentally and can walk a reasonable distance without getting exhausted or out of breath.
However he is incredibly fatalistic.
For a start, he continues to confuse the fact he was told his condition was incurable with being told it was terminal. The doctor who gave him his diagnosis - and I was with him - made it clear that many people live with controlled prostate cancer for many years and may well die of something else.
The hormonal therapy is certainly proving beneficial. However the patient imagines that the fact that an operation or chemo has not been discussed so far as meaning that he is a lost cause. I think this may be because he is from a generation where cancer could not be treated in the way it is now.
The initial invitation to hormonal therapy was a battle. He didn't realise what he was being offered at first and imagined it to be purely palliative. However he now seems very happy to get his monthly injection.
Still every fresh piece of news or invitation for a scan or biopsy is proving a battle. He tries to find excuses not to go like a child trying to avoid the dentist. Once we get him to go, he is happy that he went. But going through this process every time is difficult.
Similarly he told me today he'd had bad news - his first biopsy had shown that the cancer was advanced. That wasn't bad news. It was merely confirming what he was told 4 months ago.
The hormonal therapy has helped him enormously and I'm sure this and, perhaps, other treatments can help improve his immediate health and prevent the cancer from progressing. However I really wish I could turn his mindset round - end the fatalism, help him see how his health can improve and that he can live with prostate cancer for a long time. Can anybody suggest anything?
Just to be clear, all the information he has been given has been clear. Rather he's hearing what he wants to hear or finding the negative in everything. I tactfully suggested exploring cognitive behavioural therapy but he was having none of it.
Thank you.
