Hello Jemma66 and a warm welcome, I'm so sorry to hear about you wonderful mum and her amazing battle with cancer. I cared for my mum when she had terminal cancer and understand what an awful time you are going through. Jemma i don't know what this other illness is you mention, and I don't know what, if any, other health issues your mum is having but ascites and oedema "swollen legs", are treatable and it's a simple procedure, so I don't understand why your mum isn't getting it. though they can affect the heart, which i trust they are monitoring, I would be asking to see the consultant for answers and if they wont see you quickly I  would be talking to PALS patient advice and liaison service straight away. Regarding DNACPR if you go on the NHS website that should help, Jemma you can also get a ReSPECT form which will help with your mums wishes. I hope your mum gets a bed at the hospice, and gets the treatment she needs, I'm sure the hospice could help with that, please have a little hope that mums issues can be treated and will get a little better for a while, she's shown what a battler she is and if your mums hospice is like mine, she will get the best care possible, best wishes to you, your mum and family, take care.

Eddie xx

Hi Eddie, can’t thank you enough for the reply. I did wonder about drainage of the ascites but no one seems to be taking any responsibility for her care at this moment in time. She developed pneumonitis and was critically ill so I’m guessing they are giving her time to recover but at the same time that she is making improvements with her breathing she is deteriorating with cancer symptoms. The respiratory consultant was amazing but was unhappy to comment on her cancer. Her oncologist wants to see how she recovers and has been on holiday so will follow up in the next few weeks hopefully. I rang the palliative care nurse over the weekend and she was pretty dismissive and talked about getting anticipatory medications. She sent out the District Nurses and they completed a referral to the hospice at my Mum’s request. Hopefully she will get a bed soon and then the palliative care team can look at her holistically and manage some of these symptoms which are currently having such a huge impact on her quality of life. We will keep fighting for her and thank you again for giving a ray of hope in a difficult situation x

Hi Eddie, my Mum was offered a bed this morning and is there now. She is already feeling safe, relaxed and restful. Consultant is seeing her shortly and will hopefully be able to help with some of the symptoms.

take care

Gemma x

Wonderful news Gemma, i am so pleased for you both, and good to hear your mum feels better, as i'm guessing you are as well, best wishes.

Eddie xx