Hello RoweThompson,

My mum passed away from mets breast cancer when she was 59. I was only 24 at the time, so I can understand how you feel. Similarly to you, my mum was also a single parent, and we were very close. I lived with her for 24 years until she passed away, and we were best friends.

To this day, I'm still angry and upset. She'll never meet my beuitiful children or wife; her life was taken away too soon. It's so unfair.

My advice is to cherish the time you have left with your mum. Talk, cry, laugh - do what feels right.

Sending love your way xx

Hey lovely. The visiting hours were due to covid, however they relaxed them pretty quickly due to mums health. My mum passed on the 10th of March, we had no idea it would be so soon. We thought we had weeks left. We were with her 24/7 for the last few days, and when she took her last breath. We are heartbroken and it's hard to accept. I hope you are doing ok X 

Hello Rowe , just by reading this I can see your pain is terrible , I can't offer advice , it's your mum it hurts so much xxx I had breast cancer at  46 and after numerous op's , chemo and radiation I'm still here but I watched my children suffer , I tried to act normal in front of them at all times but looking back I don't know if that was the right way to go about it , my partner now has stage 4 pancreatic cancer has a massive op , chemo and radiation and now turning jaundiced again , spread to liver he's 57 and I think due to my I'm ok when I was going through it , they don't get what's coming , he's young like your mum and he's going to die and I don't know how il cope or if I will !!! I just wanted you to know that people understand your pain , it consumes you it's hard to breathe , it's ok to feel like this , your mum will always be your mum and always love you , you take care darling xxxx

I came here in hope to find someone similar to my situation and it just so happens you are! I'm only 25, mums 46 and actually got the all clear from lung cancer last year after 2 years of fighting. 3 months ago we found cancer in her brain and even after surgery and radiation we were told she had 12-18 months. Unfortunately it spread too fast and she's been in the hospice for 2 weeks, I haven't left her side for 7 days as we were told to say to say final goodbyes last Tuesday, it's a very hard process and my heart is with you but please stay strong. 
 

im angry at the world for her suffering and I've been angry at the dying process and how Inhumane end of life care is

Hi hun..

My mum is 66 so a bit older then your mum but shes only just retired in sept and got diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in october and its so hard and unfair i cant even explain.

Its great that you are able to have her home and spend time with her. My mum has supported me so much with my children and i wish i could help her but shes in a hospice.

Focus on making her comfortable and talking about all the wonderful memories you have. 

Its so hard when things change so quickly and you have to watch your mum change ..i feel the same..my mum has stopped being able to even sit up..just 3 months ago she was running around after my girls..now shes dozing off all the time and crying. Its heartbreaking

Stay strong and make sure u talk to those around u and take time for yourself xx

Hi Rowe,

your post has really resonated with me because we are two months into a terminable diagnosis for my mum who has an inoperable glioblastoma. Your words felt so familiar and it's because I can emphasise in every single way. My mum is only 53 and to be told we have no future with her is the most devastating news I have ever experienced. My world flipped overnight and now this is all I can think of all my brain is focussed on. Mum struggles with walking now and regularly gets lost around the house even just going to the toilet, we have to help her shower and get dressed and she is really struggling with the hair loss from radiotherapy and her face swelling from the steroids. It's unbelievably hard to watch someone who lived life to the fullest, always laughing and dancing - just weeks before she was diagnosed we had a girls weekend trip and she was bigger than life. To watch her deteriorate and become entirely dependent has been the hardest thing I could ever have imagined. The flip from child to almost parenting your parent too is something I don't see talked about often even.

im sorry I don't really have any advice for how you are feeling, I just wanted to come on and share my experience as we are a similar age and it was comforting in a way to know my experience is shared by others. I have cried about the same things, my mum not being there on my wedding day, my mum never meeting my children. I just wanted to let you know you're not alone and I'm so sorry we're going through this

It's so horrible it really is :( My Mum sadly passed away not long after I posted this. It only gets harder I'm afraid. Nobody understands quite what it's like- even in the cancer community as brain cancer is so different. Life will never be the same. Sending love to you xxx

Oh no I'm so so sorry to hear that. It just feels so unreal and you're so right about even others in the cancer community not understanding - brain cancer has just affected everything about my mum and it's such a cruel cruel disease. So sorry again for you and hope you are coping, sending love to your family

Hiya

Im so sorry that you and your mum are going through this. Its just the start of a long painful journey, i wish i could say something to mske you feel better but there is nothing. I lost my mum on 29.5.22 to lung cancer spread to her bones and watching her die a slow painful death at 66 was heartbreaking..im 31 but i still feel like a baby. I thought mum would be around for another 25 years. 

I fully identify with your anger and frustration, i already feel slightly jealous of my friends who can go to their mum. My mums phone has been switched off now i keep whatsapping her but nothing gets delivered. 

Its going to be a long road for you and you will go through so many emotions, life is cruel. My mum retired in september and was diagnosed in october bedbound in december and dead by may. 

I saw less and less of my mum each day, and i think about things i wish id asked or said. I have so many regrets. 

My thoughts and prayers are with you there is nothing more to say