My lovely Mum is dying so young :(

Hello,

I wanted to post on here just to see if there is ANYONE out there my age who understands. My mum was diagnosed with incurable Brain Cancer just weeks ago. She only has months to live. She is changed beyond belief.

My Mum is only 55, I am only 27. My Mum was a single parent to me and we are extremely close. She has moved in with me and my husband so we can care for her full time. It's so hard, I just can't bear the thought of losing her. I fear all that she will miss out on that she should have had a share in. Like grandchildren... 

It's so hard to just see her deteriorating with no way of helping her. My lovely, selfless Mum who didn't even make it to retirement after supporting me all of her life. 

I had booked us a trip to Venice in May. She probably won't even live that long, and she isn't even well enough to go downstairs. :( She made everyone Christmas dinner just months ago, and now she can't even walk properly or remember what day it is. 

She doesn't have any clue what is happening to her. She doesn't understand. I just want to scream and cry and hug her but I can't because it would distress her. 

She should have had so many more years with her here. So many more. People don't know how lucky they are to have their Mum until they're much older. It annoys me when people say 'losing a parent is hard at any age'. In fact it makes me want to punch them in the face! And if anyone said that in front of me they would certainly have a broken nose! 

She'll also be leaving behind her Dad who is only in his 70s himself and has Alzheimer's.
 

Life is so cruel. 

 

Parents
  • Hi Rowe,

    your post has really resonated with me because we are two months into a terminable diagnosis for my mum who has an inoperable glioblastoma. Your words felt so familiar and it's because I can emphasise in every single way. My mum is only 53 and to be told we have no future with her is the most devastating news I have ever experienced. My world flipped overnight and now this is all I can think of all my brain is focussed on. Mum struggles with walking now and regularly gets lost around the house even just going to the toilet, we have to help her shower and get dressed and she is really struggling with the hair loss from radiotherapy and her face swelling from the steroids. It's unbelievably hard to watch someone who lived life to the fullest, always laughing and dancing - just weeks before she was diagnosed we had a girls weekend trip and she was bigger than life. To watch her deteriorate and become entirely dependent has been the hardest thing I could ever have imagined. The flip from child to almost parenting your parent too is something I don't see talked about often even.

    im sorry I don't really have any advice for how you are feeling, I just wanted to come on and share my experience as we are a similar age and it was comforting in a way to know my experience is shared by others. I have cried about the same things, my mum not being there on my wedding day, my mum never meeting my children. I just wanted to let you know you're not alone and I'm so sorry we're going through this

  • It's so horrible it really is :( My Mum sadly passed away not long after I posted this. It only gets harder I'm afraid. Nobody understands quite what it's like- even in the cancer community as brain cancer is so different. Life will never be the same. Sending love to you xxx

  • Oh no I'm so so sorry to hear that. It just feels so unreal and you're so right about even others in the cancer community not understanding - brain cancer has just affected everything about my mum and it's such a cruel cruel disease. So sorry again for you and hope you are coping, sending love to your family

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  • Oh no I'm so so sorry to hear that. It just feels so unreal and you're so right about even others in the cancer community not understanding - brain cancer has just affected everything about my mum and it's such a cruel cruel disease. So sorry again for you and hope you are coping, sending love to your family

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