My lovely Mum is dying so young :(

Hello,

I wanted to post on here just to see if there is ANYONE out there my age who understands. My mum was diagnosed with incurable Brain Cancer just weeks ago. She only has months to live. She is changed beyond belief.

My Mum is only 55, I am only 27. My Mum was a single parent to me and we are extremely close. She has moved in with me and my husband so we can care for her full time. It's so hard, I just can't bear the thought of losing her. I fear all that she will miss out on that she should have had a share in. Like grandchildren... 

It's so hard to just see her deteriorating with no way of helping her. My lovely, selfless Mum who didn't even make it to retirement after supporting me all of her life. 

I had booked us a trip to Venice in May. She probably won't even live that long, and she isn't even well enough to go downstairs. :( She made everyone Christmas dinner just months ago, and now she can't even walk properly or remember what day it is. 

She doesn't have any clue what is happening to her. She doesn't understand. I just want to scream and cry and hug her but I can't because it would distress her. 

She should have had so many more years with her here. So many more. People don't know how lucky they are to have their Mum until they're much older. It annoys me when people say 'losing a parent is hard at any age'. In fact it makes me want to punch them in the face! And if anyone said that in front of me they would certainly have a broken nose! 

She'll also be leaving behind her Dad who is only in his 70s himself and has Alzheimer's.
 

Life is so cruel. 

 

Parents
  • I am so sorry to hear about your mum, I feel your pain and understand what you are going through. I am also 27, and my poor mum has been given weeks to live, she is 58. She is my best friend and we did everything together. Spoke twice a day and spent all weekends together. She is in a hospice now, I can only visit for 3 hours everyday and I'm finding this so difficult, 3 hours a day seems so little time. But we couldn't care for her at home anymore, she lost her mobility and it was too distressing for her. Life is so cruel and I'd do anything to go back in time before all this was happening. 

     

  • Thank you for replying. As awful as it is, it is good to find someone that genuinely understands. My own Auntie of all people yesterday said 'it doesn't make it any easier' losing someone when they are older. I can tell you auntie... yes it bloody does! I would feel a 100 times better if my Mum had 10 or 15 more years under her belt. Her Mum died at 70. She watched all of her Grandchildren grow up, and even met 3 Great Grandchildren. My Mum's death and her's are by no way comparible. I understand that people go through worse losses than losing their Mother far too young, but luckily (for everyone else) not many people do. I'm jealous that my Husband has both of his parents, I can't bear to hear ALL of my friends talking about their alive and well Mothers. I dread becoming a Motherless Mother. I would be grateful if she could meet any children I might have just for 5 minutes. Just so she can be called Grandma for 5 minutes. 
     

    She is too unwell to make any more happy memories. She is nothing like she used to be. I occasionally see glimmers of Mum in there, but she has become a bit averse to my affection and doesn't want to cuddle me which is heart braking. Such is the cruelty of brain cancer. 
     

    So sorry your Mum has had to go into a hospice. 3 hours a day seems an unreasonably small amount of time. Have they given you a reason? 

  • Hey lovely. The visiting hours were due to covid, however they relaxed them pretty quickly due to mums health. My mum passed on the 10th of March, we had no idea it would be so soon. We thought we had weeks left. We were with her 24/7 for the last few days, and when she took her last breath. We are heartbroken and it's hard to accept. I hope you are doing ok X 

Reply
  • Hey lovely. The visiting hours were due to covid, however they relaxed them pretty quickly due to mums health. My mum passed on the 10th of March, we had no idea it would be so soon. We thought we had weeks left. We were with her 24/7 for the last few days, and when she took her last breath. We are heartbroken and it's hard to accept. I hope you are doing ok X 

Children
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