I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma in Oct 2016. Initially very ill, I immediately started on 4 months of chemo and this, with the addition of copious amounts of morphine made me 'away with the fairies'.

Chemo brain, or what I call a cognitive impairment has been with me ever since. I have virtually no memory, long or short term. I defer to others to fill in missing words or to say what I want at consults.

I've lost my 'internal dialogue', which means I can't think - I can't construct a point of view or an argument, though I can be triggered to provide an already held view.

Constant fatigue and the cognitive impairment has made reading difficult - I can understand each word but the meaning of a paragraph is often lost on me and I've forgotten what I've read as soon as I've read it. Typing this is all stream of consciousness and I've no idea of what I'm going to write, it could all be wibble and I won't know until I read it back.

I literally live in the moment.

All the above is merely explanatory, I don't feel bad about it in any way. It is what it is. It also has the benefit of not allowing me to worry about anything.

I live for my family, for my kids and grandkids and they give me much joy. Apart from family, I have no ambition or desire to do anything. Many would say I've no quality of life but I'm content. I'm also in awe of what some people manage to fit into every day, though I don't feel inclined to try and emulate them.

To conclude, chemo brain is real and seemiingly in my case, permanent.

My best to you all

Regards

Taff

I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma in Oct 2016. Initially very ill, I immediately started on 4 months of chemo and this, with the addition of copious amounts of morphine made me 'away with the fairies'.

Chemo brain, or what I call a cognitive impairment has been with me ever since. I have virtually no memory, long or short term. I defer to others to fill in missing words or to say what I want at consults.

I've lost my 'internal dialogue', which means I can't think - I can't construct a point of view or an argument, though I can be triggered to provide an already held view.

Constant fatigue and the cognitive impairment has made reading difficult - I can understand each word but the meaning of a paragraph is often lost on me and I've forgotten what I've read as soon as I've read it. Typing this is all stream of consciousness and I've no idea of what I'm going to write, it could all be wibble and I won't know until I read it back.

I literally live in the moment.

All the above is merely explanatory, I don't feel bad about it in any way. It is what it is. It also has the benefit of not allowing me to worry about anything.

I live for my family, for my kids and grandkids and they give me much joy. Apart from family, I have no ambition or desire to do anything. Many would say I've no quality of life but I'm content. I'm also in awe of what some people manage to fit into every day, though I don't feel inclined to try and emulate them.

To conclude, chemo brain is real and seemiingly in my case, permanent.

My best to you all

Regards

Taff

Hi all it definitely got to me unless I'm going senile, before and early stages of cemo I could work out most math sums in my head easily after i have to use a calculator and struggle with what buttons to use, it has slightly got better over the years but now wear near as good as i was and short term memory is useless now i have to write everything down,. Billy 

Talking about numbers, I once got a physical feeling that the number 7 was missing. Just that. No idea what it was missing from, just that it was missing.

Very strange.

This is all so fascinating to read. Some really interesting contributions. An English teacher who can no longer spell, the number 7 missing, weird dreams of plant pots with hands growing out of them clapping. How bizarre... and yet for the person experiencing it, it probably all feels so real. 

[@MrsRTeacher]‍ the reply that wouldn't post, maybe it's not chemo brain, it may just be technology also doing weird things sometimes :D

Lucie