Just lost my mum to gallbladder cancer

As title states, I (27) lost my mum (58) nearly 3 weeks ago to gallbladder cancer. 
 

myself, my dad and my sister were called into a&e on the 10th September and were told that my mum had liver and gallbladder cancer.

 

exactly a week after we were told it was terminal and we're looking at weeks to months - 6 months without treatment would be good (treatment as in palliative chemo and also an operation either stent or bypass surgery as the cancer had also spread to the duadenum so my mum could not eat/would be sick bile which was backing up).

a week and a half after this diagnosis my mum had bypass surgery and rapidly deteriorated. 2 weeks from being told that the cancer was terminal we were told that mum had days to live. She passed away 4 days later with myself, my sister, my dad and her sister at her bedside in the hospital. 
 

I am absolutely heartbroken. My mum meant everything to my family, our partners, her grandchildren, friends and other family. 
 

Everything has happened so quickly, just over 6 weeks ago we found out my mum had cancer and the Friday just gone we held her funeral ( which was such a beautiful service planned by us all). I just cannot get over it and I know I won't I'll just learn to live with it, plus it's still so raw. I just look back on the last 6 weeks and it feels like forever we were told it was cancer, but also feels like yesterday. I just keep reliving every day that we were with her during the 3 weeks and 4 days that she went in to a&e up until passing. 
 

I just cannot believe she deteriorated so quickly. I miss her so much. 

i guess I don't have a question or discussion point, I just wanted to post. 
 

thank you to anybody who reads this.

Parents
  • Hi

    I am glad that I have found this forum and this thread.  I lost my mum (70) to gallbladder cancer in September.  She was diagnosed in July and told that she had 6-12 months without any treatment, which would not have cured her.

    In the end, my lovely Mum had 10 weeks.  The aggressive tumour blocked her bile duct and it went from there.  She went downhill very quickly.  
     

    It's a truly heartbreaking process to go through, for everyone involved.  I felt like I was living in a bubble too from the point she was given her diagnosis to the day we lost her.  Since then it's been really difficult.  Sometimes the loss and pain is intense and others it doesn't feel real.  I play everything over and over in my head and night time is the worst, trying to stop my busy brain.

    As others have said though, it's very early in the grieving process, it's going to take time and I'm trying to be kind to myself, that's the best advice I've been given. If the tears come, let them flow.  

    I hope that at some point in the future I can be a good support to someone going through this or similar heartbreak.

    xx

Reply
  • Hi

    I am glad that I have found this forum and this thread.  I lost my mum (70) to gallbladder cancer in September.  She was diagnosed in July and told that she had 6-12 months without any treatment, which would not have cured her.

    In the end, my lovely Mum had 10 weeks.  The aggressive tumour blocked her bile duct and it went from there.  She went downhill very quickly.  
     

    It's a truly heartbreaking process to go through, for everyone involved.  I felt like I was living in a bubble too from the point she was given her diagnosis to the day we lost her.  Since then it's been really difficult.  Sometimes the loss and pain is intense and others it doesn't feel real.  I play everything over and over in my head and night time is the worst, trying to stop my busy brain.

    As others have said though, it's very early in the grieving process, it's going to take time and I'm trying to be kind to myself, that's the best advice I've been given. If the tears come, let them flow.  

    I hope that at some point in the future I can be a good support to someone going through this or similar heartbreak.

    xx

Children
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