Just lost my mum to gallbladder cancer

As title states, I (27) lost my mum (58) nearly 3 weeks ago to gallbladder cancer. 
 

myself, my dad and my sister were called into a&e on the 10th September and were told that my mum had liver and gallbladder cancer.

 

exactly a week after we were told it was terminal and we're looking at weeks to months - 6 months without treatment would be good (treatment as in palliative chemo and also an operation either stent or bypass surgery as the cancer had also spread to the duadenum so my mum could not eat/would be sick bile which was backing up).

a week and a half after this diagnosis my mum had bypass surgery and rapidly deteriorated. 2 weeks from being told that the cancer was terminal we were told that mum had days to live. She passed away 4 days later with myself, my sister, my dad and her sister at her bedside in the hospital. 
 

I am absolutely heartbroken. My mum meant everything to my family, our partners, her grandchildren, friends and other family. 
 

Everything has happened so quickly, just over 6 weeks ago we found out my mum had cancer and the Friday just gone we held her funeral ( which was such a beautiful service planned by us all). I just cannot get over it and I know I won't I'll just learn to live with it, plus it's still so raw. I just look back on the last 6 weeks and it feels like forever we were told it was cancer, but also feels like yesterday. I just keep reliving every day that we were with her during the 3 weeks and 4 days that she went in to a&e up until passing. 
 

I just cannot believe she deteriorated so quickly. I miss her so much. 

i guess I don't have a question or discussion point, I just wanted to post. 
 

thank you to anybody who reads this.

Parents
  • Hi there. I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad 7 weeks ago. Very unexpected, not to cancer, he died in his sleep. Its utterly heartbreaking, surreal and uncomfortable. I'm 33, an only child and feel like part of me went with him. I loved him more than anything. We all know death is inevitable but somehow we think that our parents are invincible. You sound like you have a lovely family. Take comfort in the fact that she loved you all and you her. I just hope and pray that somehow I will see my dad again. Take care and look after each other xxx

Reply
  • Hi there. I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad 7 weeks ago. Very unexpected, not to cancer, he died in his sleep. Its utterly heartbreaking, surreal and uncomfortable. I'm 33, an only child and feel like part of me went with him. I loved him more than anything. We all know death is inevitable but somehow we think that our parents are invincible. You sound like you have a lovely family. Take comfort in the fact that she loved you all and you her. I just hope and pray that somehow I will see my dad again. Take care and look after each other xxx

Children
  • Hi, thank you so much for your reply. 
     

    I am so sorry for your loss. 
     

    In all honesty I've never actually understood when people hope there's an afterlife after we die as to me I've always thought well what would it matter either way as we'll be dead, we won't know that we are dead? Now though I completely understand and hope so much that we get to see our parents (or any of our loved ones) again one day. The thought of going another 40 plus years in this life without being able to squeeze my mum again and then for it to just disappear into nothingness is just unbearable. 
     

    Your dad will have known how much he means to you. Please also look after yourself, im not sure what I would have done without my sister in all of this, but for you being an only child it must be so so difficult right now. If you need to talk further, let me know.