I don't know if it's too late at this point, but I'm excessively sorry for the massive loss you've had. I similarly lost my father due to stage 4 advanced and terminal lung cancer last June. I totally understand the pain and difficulty. However, at the end of the day, we must realise that when god decides to take away our loved ones, we can't do anything (religious point of view), all we can do is stay strong, embrace ahead and keep doing them proud as if you think about it if they were here right now, they would be telling you to do the good things in life and not the bad things. Our parents always want the best for us. It's totally normal to have days of tears and grief, especially when we've lost such a close loved one that used to always be around us all the time. The best thing to do is keep them in your heart, cherish the brilliant memories you made with him and with power and self-resilience, as well as self-discipline, work hard and do them proud, show him what you can do, without his presence and this will ensure he rests in peace not only with tranquility with with being intensively proud of his son/daughter. 
Despite, having had said all of this, I totally understand the difficulties you're facing, especially if you in a similar situation to me with lack of support from elsewhere, but all this hard work will pay off trust me and he will be proud of you, let me tell you that now.

Also, definitely consider going to the gym or doing any source of exercise daily in addition to what you're doing (working/studying), as this really helps me de-stress and helps to eradicate all of the toxicity and negativity in my mind. If not try any source of extra activitiy that involves exercise such as swimming or playing football and badminton etc. consider meditation and deep breathing techniques, there are a lot of YouTube videos/ apps out there to help you with this. Keep your mind busy on days that you have off like the weekend, into things like cooking, shopping and gardening. Eliminate any negative people and negativity from social media, even if it includes family, just stay away and focus on doing you. 
If you're really struggling, definitely consider counselling or some sort of support where you can share your emotions and pain.
 

stay strong you've got this, nothing wrong with you having good and bad days as it's normal with grief, we have to take each day as it comes. You will realise as the days keep going and years pass by, you will start to have more happy days. Trust me. 
 

Sending lots of wishes and support - Suraj; 04/04/2023

I don't know if it's too late at this point, but I'm excessively sorry for the massive loss you've had. I similarly lost my father due to stage 4 advanced and terminal lung cancer last June. I totally understand the pain and difficulty. However, at the end of the day, we must realise that when god decides to take away our loved ones, we can't do anything (religious point of view), all we can do is stay strong, embrace ahead and keep doing them proud as if you think about it if they were here right now, they would be telling you to do the good things in life and not the bad things. Our parents always want the best for us. It's totally normal to have days of tears and grief, especially when we've lost such a close loved one that used to always be around us all the time. The best thing to do is keep them in your heart, cherish the brilliant memories you made with him and with power and self-resilience, as well as self-discipline, work hard and do them proud, show him what you can do, without his presence and this will ensure he rests in peace not only with tranquility with with being intensively proud of his son/daughter. 
Despite, having had said all of this, I totally understand the difficulties you're facing, especially if you in a similar situation to me with lack of support from elsewhere, but all this hard work will pay off trust me and he will be proud of you, let me tell you that now.

Also, definitely consider going to the gym or doing any source of exercise daily in addition to what you're doing (working/studying), as this really helps me de-stress and helps to eradicate all of the toxicity and negativity in my mind. If not try any source of extra activitiy that involves exercise such as swimming or playing football and badminton etc. consider meditation and deep breathing techniques, there are a lot of YouTube videos/ apps out there to help you with this. Keep your mind busy on days that you have off like the weekend, into things like cooking, shopping and gardening. Eliminate any negative people and negativity from social media, even if it includes family, just stay away and focus on doing you. 
If you're really struggling, definitely consider counselling or some sort of support where you can share your emotions and pain.
 

stay strong you've got this, nothing wrong with you having good and bad days as it's normal with grief, we have to take each day as it comes. You will realise as the days keep going and years pass by, you will start to have more happy days. Trust me. 
 

Sending lots of wishes and support - Suraj; 04/04/2023