Struggling

It's been 9 months since I lost my lovely wife, Fiona. Fiona was diagnosed November 2013 with Breast Cancer, had 6 sessions of Chemo & many sessions of Radiotherapy and a Mastectomy. In 2014, we were told she had Secondary Breast Cancer, as it spread to her Lungs & 3 Vertibraes. Fiona was prescribed the first drug but it didn't have any impact so they changed the meds to a drug called Kadcyla. This worked well and Fiona remained stable for man years but in November 2017 they found Brain Mets and so she had 12 sessions of Whole Brain Radiotherapy. That helped and these tumours stopped growing. The last few years, Fiona struggled with her walking and would forget the ocassional word. We never thought much about it. Last year, Fiona's walking deteriorated and her speech worsened. Fiona was prescribed anothe 10 sessions of Brain Radiotherapy. It was proving more diffifcult getting Fiona in the car as I am a full time wheelchairt user. To cut a long story short. Fiona spent some time in hospital as they suspected her Brain had swollen due to the Radiotherapy. I managed to get her home with a hefty doses of Steroids. I had one month with her. She deteriorated so quickly, she stopped eating & drinking & I couldn't get her to take her meds. She died last November (2020) and I am struggling so much. I have been trough the many stages of grief more than once. I wouldn't commit suicide but pray that I don't wake the next morning. I do see a Listener (Counsellor) every 3 weeks & she is good but I still cry every day and hope I can be beside her again really soon.The images of her last days are imprinted in my brain and it is upsetting. Fiona was so popular, friendly and loved by many. When I placed a message of Facebook, over 230 people replied with their sorrow. My house is lonely and there are only so many times I can go to the shops. I have no motivation and life is so pointless. I don't wqant this pain anymore. 

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  • Hello Racey1

    Im so very sorry for the loss of your lovely wife Fiona.  Your post broke my heart but also moved me with your love for her and so many people who expressed how much she meant to so many.  She will always live on through you and by the many people who miss her too.

    I lost my soul mate, my husband in September 2016 at the age of just 60 from Junctional Esophagus Cancer.  What he endured is engrained in my memory and I do think about it.  It's so difficult beyond words, I try to replace those memories with all our treasured happy times but the lonliness is consuming at times.  I have happy times with our family and grandchildren something I promised my husband I would do.  I have friends you have always been there for me so I know I am so lucky but its always there underneath.  I do hope you have family and friends who are there for you and I think the Listener (Counsellor) is good to have.  I attended one to one sessions with Cruse they did give me extra and I did find it helpful.  Talking is good I believe it helps.

    Its still so early for you and I don't really know what to say as its such a wicked cruel disease.  All we can do is take one day at a time keep talking and know how much she would want you to live but its soul destroying I know.  Please look after yourself I hope others come along to other words that may help and let you know your never alone.  Thinking of you take care x

     

  • Hi Leigh60,

    I did reply to your post of 7 August but recived no reply. I hope my reply didn't upset you in anyway.

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