hi everyone,
I posted for the first time on here the other day. 2 months ago I lost my Dad aged 66 to mesothelioma, cancer caused by asbestos exposure. I'm only 21 and it's really hard to look forward to anything in the future knowing my Dad won't be there. He's going to miss all the big milestones and achievements that I haven't even come close to yet, which is really hard to come to terms with. I just can't believe that I've got to go my whole life without seeing him or talking to him ever again. I've also never lost anyone before so this was a real shock.
One of the main issues I'm facing at the moment is I am riddled with guilt and regret. So much so that I feel unwell. My Dad was never one to have emotional chats so I didn't get to have any closure before he died. He also didn't want me to see him in his final weeks because he was frightened for me to see him so sick. I know he was protecting me, and I love him for that, but it's really difficult to avoid feeling like I should have done more. I should have sat with him. I should have talked to him. And now I will never be able to tell him all the things I wanted to and I'm completely broken because of this. I know these feelings are normal but I'm really struggling to come to terms with it all.
Any kind words/words of advice would be greatly appreciated x
