Hello yes I know how awfull it is I lost my mum when she was 60 she had breast cancer that went to her lungs and brain  this was 24 years ago and it was at the time I so needed her as I had just had a baby  All I can say antidepressants didn't help me I needed to go through the grief and I cried so much which heals you. You don't get over it but you learn to live with it and all the happy funny memories flood back and I feel she is beside me in life and she would not want me to suffer  and I am very certain your mum would not want you to suffer to much  now it's your time to do something you enjoy and carry your mum with you  hope this helps a little bit 

Hello [@PinkPineapple]‍ 

I was incredibly sorry to read your post, I do unfortunately know how you are feeling. 

I lost my mum in march this year too, and I'm also your age. It feels incredibly cruel and unfair. Somedays I completely struggle to do anything. My only piece of advice I can give you although I'm probably no further forward than you, is just keep talking and crying. I know it feels like no one understands, and if you don't have family or friends to talk to I really would recommend starting therapy. I have been going and although at first I didn't know if it would help at all, I am just grateful that I have an outlet for an hour a week to process my emotions, which like you, are overwhelming. 

The people on this forum are so unbelievably kind and supportive so lean on this if you need as an outlet. Here if you ever would like to chat.

Sending lots of love xxxx

Thanks so much for replying. It does help a little knowing that I'm not the only one going through this...although it also makes me sad.

I moved about 6 weeks after losing my mum and I just feel like I haven't been able to grieve normally, as it has just been one thing after another. I feel like I have blocked myself from grieving normally and now have absolute meltdowns. Perhaps this is normal. I just don't recognise myself anymore...I believe the antidepressants aren't helping either! I'm seeing the GP on Tuesday and will see about getting rid of them or reducing the dosage so my head doesn't get even weirder...

I have been thinking about therapy, too. Are you seeing someone in person or online? I'm slightly nervous about speaking to a stranger, as I have difficulty speaking about the whole situation anyway and was wondering whether to try one of the apps like BetterHelp.

Take care xxx

I think it is normal unfortunately, I think it can just be the brain protecting itself but whatever you're feeling, it is normal and there is no right or wrong way to grieve and we also only lost our months a few months ago after knowing them our entire life, so you should really be so kind to yourself.

I think if you don't think they are helping that sounds like a good plan. 

Im doing it online, and I did think I hr same about it as you, but it really does give you some space without judgement to process everything. The first couple of sessions are very painful, but then it does feel like it's lightened the heart a littl eif that makes sense xxx

I think it is normal unfortunately, I think it can just be the brain protecting itself but whatever you're feeling, it is normal and there is no right or wrong way to grieve and we also only lost our months a few months ago after knowing them our entire life, so you should really be so kind to yourself.

I think if you don't think they are helping that sounds like a good plan. 

Im doing it online, and I did think I hr same about it as you, but it really does give you some space without judgement to process everything. The first couple of sessions are very painful, but then it does feel like it's lightened the heart a littl eif that makes sense xxx

Thanks for sharing with me. I really appreciate this so much.

I was a bit concerned doing it online and that it would lose some effect, if it weren't done in person. But I am really happy to read that the online therapy has been helping you so much and I'll have a look what's available and will give it a try. 

Thanks for making me feel like I'm not a complete lunatic.

Take care xxx