Thank you very much for posting, especially given that you're going through your own wretched experience. I'm really glad to hear that you're finding counselling helpful. That's promising. I hope things continue to go well there and wish you all the best. What happened to your mother (and to you) saddens me tremendously. If I believed in God, I'd be angry with him/her, but I don't. Instead I just think that dreadful things happen to good people and we're just supposed to "deal" with it.

Hi there yes I agree, we all get each other no one understands unless they have been through what we have been through. I feel that you have to be a new you which is really hard.  It been 1 yr and 9 months since my husband passed away and still doesn’t feel that long ago .  People do not realise how fresh it still is and that you think about them everyday and the pain never goes away you just put on a brave face and deal with life! At my work I just hide my unhappiness behind my mask .  It is like you say day by day. I try to find comfort in being by myself with my amazing dog , I try not to put pressure on myself too. X

Yes our lives are changed FOREVER,  and others don't get that,  they very quickly move back into their regular routines and forget all about us. We can't do that ,  our 'regular routines' are no longer there! And the things they used to sort out...at the moment i have something he wired up in the bathroom for the hot water gone bung, flat tyre on daughters bike, trees overgrown and need chopping...all things he would've just sorted! not to mention the lawns need doing AGAIN! I'm struggling to keep up with it all and raise two kids alone now with no help anywhere..only good thing is i don't have much time to think about me and my sadness.....

So sorry for your loss I no only to well how you feel I lost my father in Feb to Cancer of 2 years he was 52 and I am 35 I spent so much time and had so much fun with my Dad I was so upset when he first got diagnosed that he use to cry when ever I seen him it was too much at first till I got a grip and realised it wasn't helping.

When my Dad past in Feb it was a shock and it was awful he was in hospital we couldn't see him so it was sad and ***! Covid has alot to answer for.

I spoke to my Dad every day and found Father's day so hard.

I agree nothing helps I have 2 children who help me alot but I will admit there has been times I thought I couldn't go on.

Have you had any signs? I begged my Dad for a sign first one I got was the day after his funeral and trust me I'm very skeptical so I question everything but after a few signs I believe he's with me maybe you might get help from looking out for a sign a sign you might pass as nothing worth a try.

I hope you get strength soon x

Fingers crossed for tomorrow for you all. Its so hard to hear but remember the prediction can be wrong either side so cherish every moment ask questions you want to ask video moments and take photos this will help after a little anyways.

I'm not spitual but I believe my Dads give me signs I took comfort I hope it was signs xx

Yes sadly it is true that we are ALL terminal,  it is just a matter of when! Makes you realize you need to make each day matter. I think one thing most of us would change if we could was how much time we spent with the person...i think of all the times i popped to the shops when i probably could've managed...up late on the computer researching cancer when i could of been in bed cuddling him....time is what that really don't have and one of the only ways we can really help them is to give them as much as we can xx

Hi [@bras1548]‍ 

I also do not believe in god and am not a spiritual person, however, I do hope there is an afterlife of some kind. I'm sorry if I upset you with my last post, but that is the grim reality of what I am facing, there are no winners in cancer and nothing positive can be said about it. At least on here, there are people we can talk to and share our traumatic experiences with knowing that they 'get' what we are going through because not many people around us seem to understand or relate to how deeply sad the situation can be. For me, personally, being so close to my mum and taking care of her when she got sick was deeply traumatic, and I had to do it alone because my mum more or less just shut down. I can't even talk to my brother about it because he lives in another country and never saw mum when she was sick.

At the moment, I am just drifting through life, nothing excites me and I don't have much motivation to do much. Real life isn't like Hollywood movies, we don't move on after 5 minutes of grief - many of my friends / colleagues don't seem to understand that grief and mourning takes time. I will move on eventually and get on with my life because my mum told me on her deathbed,  'life must go on darling'.

Take care and stay strong.

Thank you for your message Charlene. I'm very, very sorry to hear your story. I wish I had some signs. I'm not sure I believe in the idea, but then again, who knows? I wish I could say more to give you strength, but (a) I am extremely low in optimism and (b) it sounds as if you're finding your own sources of strength, which is great.

Don't worry - you didn't upset me at all. I can't be upset by anything really (except perhaps learning that my mother is also unwell), because I'm already depressed.

Like you, I'm drifting through life. I have zero interest in anything. I just want to be with my dad, although I realise that I have repeated that ad nauseam and that it gets me nowhere,

Have a good weekend