Hello Gabrielle21, 

I am so sorry for your loss. The last two years were probably really hard for you and I am sure your dad would indeed be very proud of you for keeping going. Don't worry the fact that you sometimes feel that you are forgetting what he sounded like and his little mannerisms, what it felt like to hug him is perfectly normal. It doesn't mean that you have really forgotten him. It's great that you have these videos to remember him and that you can watch them whenever you feel you want to see him again. I am sure many on our forum will have felt this way and I hope they will be along soon to share with you how they overcame this feeling or this fear that they were forgetting their loved one. 

After two years you have dealt with so many complex emotions and it doesn't mean at all that you have forgotten your dad but that you are starting to rebuild your life even though you still miss him desperately. There is some useful information on our website here about coping with grief which I hope you will find interesting. 

I will now let our other members who have also lost a loved one come and share their story with you and tell you more about how they themselves dealt with these feelings that they were starting to forget certain details about the person they were grieving. Our forum is always there for you anytime you need to talk to others who totally understand how you are feeling at the moment.

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi Gabrielle, my sister passed away 2 years ago in April and I know exactly how you feel. My sister and I were very close. We have an older sister who is mentally handicapped and our dad has dementia. I still miss her so much and can't believe it's been 2 years since we spoke, hugged, laughed, danced, cried. My friends don't understand I am still grieving. I'm grieving for the life we would have had. She was the only other person that I could really talk to about our older sister and our poor dad who now still asks about his youngest daughter that passed away. Your dad would have been proud of you and I do believe  that he will be watching over you. I look at photos to remind me of my sister but it still seems unreal she is not here. I'm sure what we are both feeling is 'normal' . You will have your dads mannerisms, he was part of you. We've got to think of the happy times, although I find it very difficult and still remember when my sister was ill. Thinking of you and sorry to hear you are still desperately sad and grieving for your dad as I am for my little sister  I'm here if you ever want to message me. Xxx