HI Asmit,

My sincere sympathy on the loss of your mum. It is never nice seeing someone you love having to go through so much and not being able to right things for them. It is still too soon for you to be able to focus on your happy memories, as it takes some time for the memories of those last weeks to begin to fade. I found it helpful to have a photo of my mum in a prominent place where I could talk to her after she passed. I still have that photo 24 yers on, but find that although I still talk to her at times, I don't do it as often as I used to.

I am sure that your mum would be the last person to want to see you so unhappy. You will find it easier if you have someone who you can talk to about your mum and, then those happier memories will gradually begin to return. Have you considered talking to a Cruse counsellor about your mum? Sometimes it helps to talk to a stranger about how you are feeling, especially when they have experience of death and, can talk you through the various stages of grief. 

No two people respond to grief in the same way, so please try not to be too hard on yourself. It will take as long as it takes to come to terms with your loss and, this is something that you cannot rush.

Thinking of you and hoping that you find the strength to get through this.

Kind regards,

Jolamine

Hi @jolamine, Thankyou for taking the time to read my post and Thank you for your kind words. I have spoken to my gp and I have decided to take up some therapy. I have been suffering with anxiety and panic attacks recently, I'm guessing this is onset from losing mum. I'm hoping it helps. My gp also mentioned cruse to me, I think I'm going to have to just man up and pick the phone up. I've never had therapy or spoken to anyone before so I don't know what to expect or what to say and that makes me nervous, but I think it's just something I'm going to have to do. I have been and bought some photo frames today and I'm going to put my favourite pictures of mum in them, the only image I have of her in my head is when I saw her when she had passed (she still looked so beautiful ️)  today has been a good day so I probably sound more positive than I did when I posted. Thankyou again xxx

Hi Asmit,

Many of us are scared of therapy, but it can really help with some coping strategies. I am glad to hear that you have been out and bought some photo frames. It can be difficult to lose the memories of mum when she was possibly at her lowest ebb.

I am so glad to hear that today was a good day for you. One of these days you will suddenly realise that you are having more good days than bad again and that you can actually smile at some of the happier times you spent with your mum.

Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on with your therapy. I sincerely hope that it helps you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi [@Jolamine]‍ , I hope your doing ok. I thought I would give you a little update so far. I have had my first bit of therapy, and I feel it has helped me a lot. Once I got into the conversation I felt so comfortable talking. I have learned that it is ok to cry and be upset and actually grieve, I was trying to be strong for everyone else and didn't want to face my emotions. I have been talking about mum as much as I can and looking at her pictures. She just makes me smile every time I look at her I still have my bad days, just as much as good days, and your right that those good days will gradually be more than the bad. The last couple of weeks, my anxiety has improved a lot, So something must be working! 
 

take care xxx

Hi [@Jolamine]‍ , I hope your doing ok. I thought I would give you a little update so far. I have had my first bit of therapy, and I feel it has helped me a lot. Once I got into the conversation I felt so comfortable talking. I have learned that it is ok to cry and be upset and actually grieve, I was trying to be strong for everyone else and didn't want to face my emotions. I have been talking about mum as much as I can and looking at her pictures. She just makes me smile every time I look at her I still have my bad days, just as much as good days, and your right that those good days will gradually be more than the bad. The last couple of weeks, my anxiety has improved a lot, So something must be working! 
 

take care xxx

Hi Asmit,

I am delighted to hear that you have started therapy and that you find it really helping. It is often easier to talk to a stranger than it is to talk to loved ones. I am so glad to hear that you feel comfortable talking. You do need to acknowledge your grief and face your emotions. If you try to be strong all the time and bottle up your feelings, you will only store up trouble for later.

It certainly sounds as if things are looking up for you. You will still have bad days, but being able to talk about your mum and smile at certain memories is a great start. I hope that things continue to move forward for you. Please remember that we are always here and keep in touch.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx