Hi everyone, 

It's been a period like no other. A time of reflection, recovering and the hope that things would calm down, or even get easier. Unfortunately that hasn't, and my hope that I would feel stronger and more composed is diminishing. 

I lost my Mum 6 months ago now, from stage 4 breast cancer. It was the 4th time she had it, and passed away after 9 months from what was her final diagnosis. 

I posted a couple of times here after she died, and the day after her funeral, thinking those 2 events would carry the most pain of losing Mum. After 6 months of her passing, I'm feeling worse about it, despite counselling and support (which has helped and has been effeftive from managing psychologically, but I still feel this pain every day). 

I have been told that it gets easier, that the raw feeling eases and you learn to look back at the good times and smile at pictures, but since then, key events have passed like Christmas, Mother's Day and my Birthday. These events have been incredibly hard to cope with, as it's a reality that Mum is no longer here. I was crying for most of the morning on my birthday as it was the first time I never had a text or card from Mum, nor would I have done again. What would have been my Mum's 70th birthday is approaching, and I know that day will again be harder than ever. 

I'm in my early 30s and I'm struggling to cope with the feeling that I'll live for over half of my life without my Mum in it. It's starting to feel so real now. Perhaps I was in such shock when she passed away that it has only sinked in now? Or perhaps it's that I see my Dad more and more turn into a quieter, more reserved man due to the pain of losing his wife of 50 years. 

I would like to hear stories, advice or thoughts around grief 6 months on. Please share, it's a very lonely time. 

Thank you.