Hello. 
I lost my lovely dad in March 2019, Monday will be two years. 
He was 58 and he died exactly two weeks before I gave birth to his first grandchild, it was so cruel, he had been so excited. 
It was a short battle of 7 months, 5 of which we thought he would be fine so a shock and quick in the end. 
We had bought our wedding forward for him, maybe expecting him to be unwell, but certainly to be here. So 5 months after he died I had a small baby and a big white wedding. I won't lie, my heart wasn't in it, it was too soon, but I had promised my dad I would still do it. Without my dad the big wedding I'd always dreamt of meant nothing anymore and if it hadn't been booked I probably wouldn't have done it, but i would have felt the same then or now. I certainly had my moments, but the day was such a whirlwind that I did enjoy it as I barely had time to think. 
I think about him every single day, of course the tears are less and I guess I just try and block out what has happened, but I just don't think it will ever go away because how can you stop thinking about someone you wish was here so much. 
Sometimes I wish I had seen a counsellor, but I didn't want to sit down with someone that had 'coping techniques', but had no idea how I actually felt, because this has been the worst feeling in the world, you can't even describe it. 
 

sorry I haven't actually helped, just wanted you to know you're not alone x

Hello. 
I lost my lovely dad in March 2019, Monday will be two years. 
He was 58 and he died exactly two weeks before I gave birth to his first grandchild, it was so cruel, he had been so excited. 
It was a short battle of 7 months, 5 of which we thought he would be fine so a shock and quick in the end. 
We had bought our wedding forward for him, maybe expecting him to be unwell, but certainly to be here. So 5 months after he died I had a small baby and a big white wedding. I won't lie, my heart wasn't in it, it was too soon, but I had promised my dad I would still do it. Without my dad the big wedding I'd always dreamt of meant nothing anymore and if it hadn't been booked I probably wouldn't have done it, but i would have felt the same then or now. I certainly had my moments, but the day was such a whirlwind that I did enjoy it as I barely had time to think. 
I think about him every single day, of course the tears are less and I guess I just try and block out what has happened, but I just don't think it will ever go away because how can you stop thinking about someone you wish was here so much. 
Sometimes I wish I had seen a counsellor, but I didn't want to sit down with someone that had 'coping techniques', but had no idea how I actually felt, because this has been the worst feeling in the world, you can't even describe it. 
 

sorry I haven't actually helped, just wanted you to know you're not alone x

Hello.

firstly thank you for taking the time to reply, I am truly sorry for your loss and it sounds like we are feeling exactly the same. My dad never got to know I was pregnant and he now has a beautiful 13 month old granddaughter or find out I am getting married.

I know that what he wanted for me cause it's all I ever spoke about being a mum and a princess for a day so I know he would be happy it's just i wish for anything in the world he was part of it all. 
 

Don't apologise for anything I'm so sorry that I'm not alone in this as it means others are suffering too but it was so nice to hear from you.

thanks for taking the time to reply and show you care.

Your dad is with you always xxx