Dealing with Dad's death

My Dad passed away in February after a 3 year battle with cancer. He had a terminal diagnosis, however, there was no signposting that he was towards end of life and deteriorated so suddenly in a number of days; so I didn't really have time to prepare for him to die so soon.

I'm 20 and his death is the biggest loss that I've faced so far in my life. I'm at university working in hospital and I'm finding it really difficult to process that he is no longer in my life and that he won't be there for major events in my life like my graduation, wedding and children etc.

I'm busy with uni work but I find myself thinking about him during the day and then I find myself feeling really upset. It might sound stupid but I keep thinking that I don't want to do things without him but I know that I have to continue and live for him.

I haven't used this forum before, so I'm not really sure what to expect but was hoping that maybe someone who has gone through something similiar has any advice for dealing with death.

Parents
  • I’m 35 years old and lost my Dad and best friend on the 18th Feb after 2 years of battling cancer at age 51, he was diagnosed in June 2018 with Limthnode cancer and Lung Cancer my Dad worked and lived in Liverpool for past 10 years but came home most weekends to Darlington to his wife.
    When we found out in 2018 I broke down but he was a fighter he had chemo, radiotherapy, immunotherapy all from clatterbridge which was a amazing to my Dad.
    He also started Cannabis Oil the illegal stuff with THC in he struggled mind taking it was crazy at first he hallucinated and being the funny man he is he told us funny story’s and he did hate it but he went from stage 4 to stage 1 cancer! It was hard he had to have a grain of rice a day then up it and change his diet to only Chicken and no processed food at all. He managed but couldn’t up his oil.
    My Dad was a Groundwork in Liverpool and he would have chemo on a Tuesday and back at work the day after his work mates carried him so well.
    March 2020 lockdown came in and he was told to lockdown first lockdown we all worried not knowing what was going on he was off for 7 weeks and I believe this made him detreate. He went back to work in the May and was never happier.
    My Dad managed to work me down the aisle August 2020. 
    December 2020 he came home after radiotherapy he was so poorly and deteriated so quickly he had a blot clot on his lung and was took in hospital 14th February he was tiny and cause he was only classed as palative care we couldn’t see him he was due to come home the 18th February but sadly died at 12.45 he was fed up he really was.
    He was amazing to fight for so long and my best friend im lost and his funeral is Monday I don’t want it to come round cause its the last thing.

Reply
  • I’m 35 years old and lost my Dad and best friend on the 18th Feb after 2 years of battling cancer at age 51, he was diagnosed in June 2018 with Limthnode cancer and Lung Cancer my Dad worked and lived in Liverpool for past 10 years but came home most weekends to Darlington to his wife.
    When we found out in 2018 I broke down but he was a fighter he had chemo, radiotherapy, immunotherapy all from clatterbridge which was a amazing to my Dad.
    He also started Cannabis Oil the illegal stuff with THC in he struggled mind taking it was crazy at first he hallucinated and being the funny man he is he told us funny story’s and he did hate it but he went from stage 4 to stage 1 cancer! It was hard he had to have a grain of rice a day then up it and change his diet to only Chicken and no processed food at all. He managed but couldn’t up his oil.
    My Dad was a Groundwork in Liverpool and he would have chemo on a Tuesday and back at work the day after his work mates carried him so well.
    March 2020 lockdown came in and he was told to lockdown first lockdown we all worried not knowing what was going on he was off for 7 weeks and I believe this made him detreate. He went back to work in the May and was never happier.
    My Dad managed to work me down the aisle August 2020. 
    December 2020 he came home after radiotherapy he was so poorly and deteriated so quickly he had a blot clot on his lung and was took in hospital 14th February he was tiny and cause he was only classed as palative care we couldn’t see him he was due to come home the 18th February but sadly died at 12.45 he was fed up he really was.
    He was amazing to fight for so long and my best friend im lost and his funeral is Monday I don’t want it to come round cause its the last thing.

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