Hi mate

I'm not to good at that sort of stuff but my sister is coming up tomorrow I will get her to look to see if she can find you.

 I'm here with you mate  hope your ok we can do this 

@KevA‍  Hi Kev, Sorry for the hijack, I hope you don’t mind. I am posting on here after a breast cancer diagnosis just before Christmas. Bear with me, i’ll explain.

I met my wonderful, husband in 2010, almost four years after he had lost his lovely wife to pancreatic cancer, they had been together since 1980 when my husband was 18. She woke up one morning in 2006 and was bright yellow, it transpired her bile duct had collapsed in the night from cancer on the pancreas that had invaded it. They had a very short time together afterwards as you can imagine. We discussed it at length when we met, and have done ever since. He told me of the complete and utter devastation, despair and feeling of empyness and loss having been ‘robbed’ of his beautiful soulmate. He owned his own company at the time and had to close it down as he couldn’t function, he has to this day a missing 6 month gap from her death forwards, the grief was so overwhelming. His mood started and continued for some time with bewilderment at the world, they had no children, so he was on his own and paralysed by grief, nothing to get up for, nothing to live for, grief moves in stages, after the initial bewilderment came questioning - why me? why us? He struggled to function, grief will take you to a myriad of different places, devastating loss, bewilderment, anger, and finally acceptance. This journey for him lasted three years, for some it may never end - on the optimistic side it did for Rio Ferdinand. My hubby was told by a nurse in the hospice that he would go through many ‘stages’, something changes, in time a lighter mood presents itself, and then as she had said, one day it was as if a light bulb popped on, and he knew he was ready to start again. Life will never be the same, but you will in time experience your new normal. We met by chance, I had been divorced 15 years with no intention of actively looking for another partner. We ‘clicked’ immediately. I am posting this purely to show there will be a light in your tunnel, it may take years, but it will be there, but, you have a long way to go Kev. My husband is my soulmate, perhaps his first wife was his, but we are deeply in love and extremely happy. Will our life together have a happy ending? I am battling cancer with every fibre of my soul, I prey to God my husband is not a victim to cancer again. I hope you can get through this, grief is devastating for sure, but most find their ‘happy’ in future years. I hope you, or others don’t view this as a patronising post, it isn’t meant to be, it is merely showing you that you will come through this horrendous time. I am sending a lot of love your way. Take care, Lyn. X

Lynn

I don't see this as patronising I see a message from a kind and loving person . Keep fighting and hopefully you can beat this horrible illness I hope you can and you get to stay with your soul mate  for many more years. Thankyou for your love I understand I have a long road ahead but I will continue to battle because I have the memory of my partner in my heart and all the time I have these memories I have something to live for.

Take care and keep fighting  

Kev x

[@KevA]‍ , Thank you, I certainly will. You have a wonderful attitude to carry you through, especially the love you shared and all those memories, yes the road will be long and bumpy, but it’s a road you have to travel sadly.

I’ll bow out now, and return to my familiar territory in the BC postings, I just wanted to give you my hubbys reflections and perspective as he stood in your shoes all those years ago. Keep on keeping on, all the very best Kev. Lyn. X

Hi, my mum passed from pancreatic cancer on the 5th October. She was diagnosed in the April prior following a year of treatment for bowel cancer which she had successfully fought. This second diagnosis came from nowhere and hit her completely. It just so happened the doctor saw she was little jaundice and it spiralled from there.

my mum was my absolute best friend in the whole world and despite her having a husband at home she chose to be with me at the end. I took her to all her treatment, held her hand, celebrated when she had kicked the bowel cancers a*se and eventually stroked her hair and sang to her as she took her final breath. I'm absolutely heartbroken...mum was only 69 and had so much life to live.. we still have my grandmother at a grand old age of 94 and never ever did I imagine mum not being around just so soon.

pancreatic cancer is so so cruel. I wish I had advice as to how to get through the next few days/weeks/months.. all I will say is breath in, breath out.. that's all you need to do right now. Nothing more.

You're In my thoughts 

Thankyou for your kind wishes

Yes it is so cruel I have never felt so helpless not only have I lost my partner,  I have also lost my best friend like you did when you lost your mum i also stroked my partners hair and told her how much I loved her and was playing our record when she took her final breath I am sure it helps me to know she was with me at this time and not alone in some hospital but at the moment I can't feel anything only numb. I have her funeral on Wednesday to get over and then after that I just don't know.

You take care and I hope you can remember the happy times that you had. 

Hello mate hope you are doing ok unbelievably my partners dad  died on Saturday just don't know what's happening 

Omg how did what happen? I hope your ok i'm a mess today got to do the school run today which is really hard seeing all the other families together