Heartbreaking is an understatement, life is very cruel, one minute making wonderful plans , then  snatched away in the most cruel way . I'm truly saddened by your loss . Especially as you have a new baby on the way . I too am struggling in a very bad way . My husband survived lung cancer for three years , he was told he had six months, he battled so bravely, I nursed him at home, The last few months were horrific, watching him suffer in pain daily, snd the man I married 37 years ago get further away from me , and there was nothing I could do . Watching his life drain away slowly, then taking his last breaths. I too think I have post traumatic shock , it really is only starting to sink in . I keep wishing it wasn't true , I feel helpless, I'm trying to carry on for the family, putting on a brave face , but every night I cuddle his ashes in bed , and hope I wake up and it's been a terrible nightmare. I feel I can't open up to anyone, as it feels like burdening them , I know they're hurting too , but I just want to scream and scream . Sorry to pour this out on to you . But honestly you can pour out to me too . I know exactly how you feel . Angry and upset for what they are going to miss out on in the future. Our eldest son is getting married in dec . And his dad won't be there . I don't know how I'll cope without him by my side , but I'll stay strong for our son .    I hope this hasn't offended you in anyway, take care and be kind to yourself.