It's been 11 months and 4 days since my mum died of cancer (on the first day of lockdown in March 2020). I thought I had come to terms with it but lately I'm finding it harder then ever. I'm due my first baby at the beginning of June, I've moved house, I've got a little rescue dog and my mum will never see or be part of this part of my life or my baby's. It's heartbreaking. I keep thinking how unfair it is, she was only 62, the week before we found out about her brain cancer she rang the bell having gone into remission with lung cancer. 2 weeks before we found out about her lung cancer she had a buyer for her house and her and my dad were going to “have the best life together" in Spain. I don't believe in God unfortunately, so I can't say that she has gone to a better place and in all honestly if I did believe in God I wouldn't anymore after the torture she went through before she died. I feel most sorry for my dad who looked after her at home during the end of her life. I think he has PTSD and this covid lockdown isn't helping cheer him up. He is looking forward to his grandchild but its also a reminder that my mum isn't here to see her.
Anyway sorry for the rambling. I just wanted to vent to get it off my chest and make me feel better.
Does anyone have any good ideas of how we could celebrate her life on the 23rd March 2021? Does anyone know how I could help my dad? Thank you xx
