Discussion for young people experiencing loss

Hi,

I just wanted to post and see if anyone replies. I'm interested in setting up some kind of group for young people who have lost someone to cancer. It's reassuring to read posts on here, but I do feel that my situation (Losing my dad aged 19) is very different to someone losing a parent 30 years older, or the loss of a grandparent.

I've been in touch with a couple of people in their late teens or early 20s who feel the same, so if anyone wants to then message me please do.

I would like to message people in a similar situation. I'm not ready for proper counselling, as dad died not even two months ago. Yet I feel people around me moving on with their lives and waiting for me to be over it to be honest. People of my age don't know what to say/ do because this is out of their experience. And the support i've been offered just dumps me with anyone over the age of 18, which is usually people quite a bit older than me, so they don't really get how I feel and I don't get how they feel (not completely anyway). I don't want to upset anyone but I just feel angry when someone old enough to be my mother tells me they understand because their elderly father died. I'm sorry but please don't reply to my post if this is the case.

Hopefully this post will reach out to someone who needs it, because I need someone who gets me.

 

UPDATE: can people please please only reply to this thread if what i've said applies to you, because every time I get an email that someone has replied and they're just making a general comment that they could post themselves, I feel kind of let down. I know this might seem harsh but I feel angry and upset a lot of the time at the moment.

Parents Reply Children
  • Hello,

    Sending you all a big hug xx

    What an age to experience something so horrific. It’s not fair. 

    I lost my dad just after my 30th birthday. 7 days from diagnosis to death.

     

    would love to chat x

  • Hi Hayley,

     

    I'm so so so sorry to hear this. My dad passed away after a 2 week diagnosis. It's just heartbreaking.

    I miss him so so so so much! It hurts so much. I was supposed to be getting married in April this year and we have so much planned. 
     

    How are you coping? Hope you are ok xx

  •  

    Hey,

    Aw thank you that means a lot. And I’m so sorry for your loss too! It just doesn’t make sense does it, we shouldn’t be having to deal with this so young.

    It’s so hard for other people to understand the grief and trauma of losing a parent. So it’s nice to hear of someone else losing their dad so young because you get it!!

    I’m so truly sorry that you are planning a wedding without your dad being around, that must be the hardest thing..but also a good distraction keeping your mind busy with other exciting things? Let’s face it, there’s not much else to distract ourselves with this pandemic going on is there! 

    I am coping ok I guess.. I find it really hard to explain how I’m coping. It doesn’t feel real. I feel numb a lot. I suffer with anxiety so losing my dad in such a traumatic way has caused a lot of panic attacks, insomnia, health anxiety etc. I did lean on alcohol the first few months, as I couldn’t cope, but a fantastic support network around me which really helped get me out of that. There are some days i cope ok, but other days I just cry lots and feels very difficult to manage..

    What about yourself? Thanks for responding, and take care xxx