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Discussion for young people experiencing loss

nancyelizabeth
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Hi,

I just wanted to post and see if anyone replies. I'm interested in setting up some kind of group for young people who have lost someone to cancer. It's reassuring to read posts on here, but I do feel that my situation (Losing my dad aged 19) is very different to someone losing a parent 30 years older, or the loss of a grandparent.

I've been in touch with a couple of people in their late teens or early 20s who feel the same, so if anyone wants to then message me please do.

I would like to message people in a similar situation. I'm not ready for proper counselling, as dad died not even two months ago. Yet I feel people around me moving on with their lives and waiting for me to be over it to be honest. People of my age don't know what to say/ do because this is out of their experience. And the support i've been offered just dumps me with anyone over the age of 18, which is usually people quite a bit older than me, so they don't really get how I feel and I don't get how they feel (not completely anyway). I don't want to upset anyone but I just feel angry when someone old enough to be my mother tells me they understand because their elderly father died. I'm sorry but please don't reply to my post if this is the case.

Hopefully this post will reach out to someone who needs it, because I need someone who gets me.

 

UPDATE: can people please please only reply to this thread if what i've said applies to you, because every time I get an email that someone has replied and they're just making a general comment that they could post themselves, I feel kind of let down. I know this might seem harsh but I feel angry and upset a lot of the time at the moment.

Parents
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    I'm sorry to read that you have lost your dad, especially at such a young age. Cancer is a horrible unforgiving illness and it hits hard when someone we love is diagnosed with it. 
     

    I know you have stated that you only want people who can relate to comment on your post, however, I didn't want to read and run. 
     

    My grandad (who is young and is more like a dad to me) who has raised me all my life has just been diagnosed with stage 4 metastic lung cancer. I may be an adult (late 20s) but that doesn't make my pain any easier. I feel broken beyond belief. My whole world has been turned upside down and I am not ready to lose the one person I love more than anyone in this world. The day he was diagnosed (just before Christmas) was the worst day of my life, and the pain I'm experiencing now is just as raw as it was then. Since the diagnosis everything has gone at 100mph. We've gone from him having no symptoms at all and being diagnosed on a whim to full blown palliative care. My head and my heart can not adjust. It doesn't feel real. I don't want it to be real. I can not physically imagine my life without him. He is my first port of call. My best friend, my dad, my hero and to think of losing him is killing me. 
     

    I know you might not want to hear it, but I can understand and relate to how you are feeling. 
     

    I do hope you get to speak to other people in a similar position and you find comfort from them. 
    My heart goes out to you. Take care and be kind to yourself xx

Reply
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    I'm sorry to read that you have lost your dad, especially at such a young age. Cancer is a horrible unforgiving illness and it hits hard when someone we love is diagnosed with it. 
     

    I know you have stated that you only want people who can relate to comment on your post, however, I didn't want to read and run. 
     

    My grandad (who is young and is more like a dad to me) who has raised me all my life has just been diagnosed with stage 4 metastic lung cancer. I may be an adult (late 20s) but that doesn't make my pain any easier. I feel broken beyond belief. My whole world has been turned upside down and I am not ready to lose the one person I love more than anyone in this world. The day he was diagnosed (just before Christmas) was the worst day of my life, and the pain I'm experiencing now is just as raw as it was then. Since the diagnosis everything has gone at 100mph. We've gone from him having no symptoms at all and being diagnosed on a whim to full blown palliative care. My head and my heart can not adjust. It doesn't feel real. I don't want it to be real. I can not physically imagine my life without him. He is my first port of call. My best friend, my dad, my hero and to think of losing him is killing me. 
     

    I know you might not want to hear it, but I can understand and relate to how you are feeling. 
     

    I do hope you get to speak to other people in a similar position and you find comfort from them. 
    My heart goes out to you. Take care and be kind to yourself xx

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