Hi,

 I’m really sorry for your loss. Loosing a parent is one of the hardest things to deal with in anyone’s life. 

My dad died a month after my 18th birthday from a rare lung disease, that was 14 years ago. I won’t tell you it gets easier, but it does become different. I don’t beat myself up over the little things anymore, and thankfully I don’t have the dreams he’s still alive and just pretended because he’s on the run lol. I think like you, for a long time I believed my dad would be coming back. 

I’m sorry you didn’t get the rest of the time you thought you had. That must be hard. 

Its ok to feel upset and find things hard. It’s ok to cry and feel emotional. 

Do you have a support system around you? 

Here if you need any support or just a rant 

pip x

Thank you for the reply,   I am really sorry you went through and are still going through that!

Like yourself i am young,  I just turned 20, my dad had turned 50.   I actually have a little girl on the way.   I'm absolutely devastated that he isn't here to see her.   I know he will be looking out for her    Its also brought me and my family something to look forward to at this time.   When I initially told my Dad he was going to be a Grandad he was honestly so so happy and it gave him something extra to fight for.

I do have my family around me and I'm grateful but i find it hard to talk to them..  I just want to be the brave one and be there for them all and be the shoulder to cry on.  I dont like talking to them about how i feel.   The only person i would talk to was my dad.. literally about anything,   How ironic.     I do still talk to him,  he passed away in the house and i find myself going into the room and talking away.   It may not sound so sane.. but it keeps me sane. 
 

I am also really sorry to see what you are currently going through.   My sincere condolences and i hope you are doing okay at this time.   
 

thank you for helping me and if you want a chat as well then fire away x

Thank you for the reply,   I am really sorry you went through and are still going through that!

Like yourself i am young,  I just turned 20, my dad had turned 50.   I actually have a little girl on the way.   I'm absolutely devastated that he isn't here to see her.   I know he will be looking out for her    Its also brought me and my family something to look forward to at this time.   When I initially told my Dad he was going to be a Grandad he was honestly so so happy and it gave him something extra to fight for.

I do have my family around me and I'm grateful but i find it hard to talk to them..  I just want to be the brave one and be there for them all and be the shoulder to cry on.  I dont like talking to them about how i feel.   The only person i would talk to was my dad.. literally about anything,   How ironic.     I do still talk to him,  he passed away in the house and i find myself going into the room and talking away.   It may not sound so sane.. but it keeps me sane. 
 

I am also really sorry to see what you are currently going through.   My sincere condolences and i hope you are doing okay at this time.   
 

thank you for helping me and if you want a chat as well then fire away x

How have you been doing this past week? 

Such a range of feelings must be going on for you at the moment! Congratulations, I look forward to hearing about a beautiful, happy healthy, little girl. It must be heartbreaking to know your dad never gets to meet her in person. But as you say, he's looking out for you all. It's funny because children can be very In tune to things or people we may not see anymore. I truly believe they do. So keep an eye out for that! And when she comes along, take pride in introducing your dad, show her lots of pictures, tell her lots of stories. He wil always live on through you. 

I absolutely understand your situation and feeling like you need to be the strong one or don't like showing emotions. I'm the same and do you know what, thats ok! As long as you can find a way or a place to express your feelings, you'll work through them. It might be on here, or to mates or just to your dad. And no that does not sound insane. I still talk to my dad. I get him a birthday card and a mars bar lol every year and put them on the mantle piece at home. I guess it doesn't matter how we connect to them. 

Thank you for your well wishes, very much appreciated. This place is fantastic for us who like to hide our emotions in the real world lol.

Hope you are well

Pip

 xx

Hey,  I'm doing ok. How are you?  Its good to hear from you!

Thank you for the congratulations! This little girl truly is a miracle at this time. I will for sure let you know all about her! I didnt know that but i will certainly look out for it now thank you.  Yeah definitely, this little one will know all about her Grandad and how amazing he was. 
 

You're right,  as long you are able to get it off your chest one way or another its good.. whoever it may be to.  Aw really?  Thats amazing!  Thats a great thing to do. Did he enjoy a mars bar i take it :D  
 

 We're yet to get my dads ashes back.  Once we do i think it'll be good to have another little send off for him. We are still to decide where we will spread them as we never really had that chat when he was with us.  Think that also made the funeral a bit trickier to plan as he never spoke about anything like that.. after all why would you at 50 lol.  But I'm pretty sure we made him proud and made sure it was everything he'd have wanted

I hope you and the family are coping right now. I'm glad you yourself has chose to come on here and let it all out and to also be there for others..  it really shows how great yourself and others are.   To be fighting for yourself but also for others takes so much strength and courage.    I for one.. am grateful you have took time to help me. 
 

I am always here if you need to chat or just want to get something off your chest

x

I’m good thank you! Got my surgery booked for 28th jan, and pleased to get moving with treatment. 

Aw she’s going to be so loved! When is she due?

Yes, Mars bar was his favourite lol. I still haven’t really decided the best way to dispose of it yet . My husband always tries to eat it, but I won’t let him lol and I can’t face throwing it away, so I normally bury it in the garden. Bit weird now I think of it, got visions of my neighbors watching me bury a Mars bar in the garden :laugh:

That sounds like a lovely idea, I’m sure the right time and place will come to mind. You’ll definitely do him proud whatever you decide.

We scattered my dads ashes in the sea on his birthday. He loved the beach. No its just not something we talk about enough is it, especially at a young age like your dads. I guess it’s up to us to make sure kids grow up talking openly about death and their wishes.

Aw thank you I really appreciate that. As always I’m here too, your never alone! 

Pip

xx

Thats good!,  I wish you the very best going forward and i'm sure you'll be fighting like a champ. 
 

She is for sure!  15th of June is her due date.  It cant come soon enough

Hahaha yeah i'm sure they'll never have seen that before but not that it matters.  Its all about helping you cope isnt it.   I like that!  Yeah make sure he doesn't eat them haha.

Thank you,  i'm sure it'll be the send off we all want and need.     Aww right yeah thats nice i'm sure he will have been in his element with that!  Brilliant   
 

Thank you x