Hi 

I'm so sorry for your recent loss!

i lost my mother to cancer of unknown primary 27/11/18 I was only 18 years old. I felt so alone once this had happened as it happened so quickly and tragically. I found many ways of coping with my loss but talking about my grief to others who cooks relate to me really helped as they could understand my rollercoaster of emotions! 

hope you are doing okay

Gabriella x 
 

So nice to meet you Gabriella! I read your post and cried - no one should lose a mother so young. I am so sorry. 

Yes it does help me to talk here and I don't feel I have to hold anything back. The loneliness and emptiness is an awful thing to cope with. I lost my 'rock' and it's crushing.

Do you still have the rollercoaster? Are you coping better?

I am finding ways of coping but I fear that all I am doing is putting walls and barriers up to the emotions and I feel like my emotions are numbing. They are just as raw as ever when a wall cracks.

I think the more I cry the better as I am sure it needs to come out and there is alot to come out.

How was your week?

Rich xx

How are you mate ?

How are you feeling?

Not a good day so far - been talking to her alot. I have changed alot since Rossella passed. Feel much more compassionate with so much love to give - unrepressed. This is the man I should have been always with her. She gave everything to me.

How are you today?

I completely understand what you're saying mate that's true I think I feel the same  but my wife loved  me for being me so I guess that means she love the good me I'm the bad me it's hard but I don't think you have to beat yourself up so much . Rossella loves you /loved you  you don't ever have to question that  you  were ment to be  in love forever and you will be ! Your say to me there was times when I could've done this I could've done that and when it really matters does the fact that you didn't do something change it anyway no? If you died and rosella  lived  would she be questioning how much you love her no ! U2 were meant to be together and you were ? The hard thing is to understand why she has gone but she has  cancer killed are wives  mate    That is the stage you need to be at never question the love you've had for each other  please do that mate she loved you she loves you she loves you she loves she is sitting on your shoulder watching everything you do that's definitely love if you ask me ? 

Thankyou Chris! That helps me and made me cry.

I must remember this - you are so right! 

Xx

Good glad it made you cry mate it the truth  she loves you  x

Thanks mate  xx

I need you mate  we have more days to get through before we can finally say we've made it the grief has gone until then mate we keep going x

Chris, how are you today mate? - I wasn't feeling so good yesterday. I walk down the street and always get the feeling I am missing something - a big absence in my life. Absence .......

Hope you are ok?

Xx

I've sent are you a friend request for private message  
 Im ok today last week has my worst by far  but still did everything for the boys!  I'm trying to be the best dad ever   I'm sure Martyne is watching me  so can't let her down  I want her to love me even more  if she ever could  by going a great job for our children! I miss her so much  and  my life  but one day I will be with her I have to be  we were so much in love   There has to be more  x

I've sent are you a friend request for private message  
 Im ok today last week has my worst by far  but still did everything for the boys!  I'm trying to be the best dad ever   I'm sure Martyne is watching me  so can't let her down  I want her to love me even more  if she ever could  by going a great job for our children! I miss her so much  and  my life  but one day I will be with her I have to be  we were so much in love   There has to be more  x