Hi Nat. feeling lost is just the beging. taking on that role of  organising the funeral and trying to protect your sisters as best you could. being the strong one perhaps you haven't given yourself that time to grieve properly .

I lost my wife  we were married for nearly 34 years, she was 62 years young at the time of her passing, it's Coming up to 6 months since my wife died from aggressive cancer. which wasn't diagnosed until she had a scan on her broken thigh bone and a dislodge  hip. she was given at the most two months, but it was 6 weeks before she died. It was during the covid19 outbreak so the hospital was in lockdown and no visitors were allowed. We brought her home to look after her. We did have nurses to administer her pain relief , and helpers to give her bed washers as she was bed ridden. Luck for me all the funeral details were handled by her sister. who I might add kept me and my son and daughter together. she was amazing. if it was left to me, I'd be getting cremated with her. I just could not cope. even weeks after her passing I had imaginary conversations  with her.

It's now coming up to 6 months and I'm not sure if I can cope with Christmas on my own. I know I'm going to have to try. before my wifes cancer was diagnosed, I was her full time carer, and in march I had ulta sound MRI scan and a CT scan all within 5 days. which did  make me think that's odd, as I was o0n 4 monthly scans. the following week I was given an appointment to see a specailist who just said I had a malignant liver cancer. I decided to keep it to myself and not tell my wife.  Then she had this cancer.  It was only when we knew something was going to happen. Don't know what gave us this feeling. I held her hand as her breathing became shorter. I told her she was going no where as I held her hand. I said to her I have kept a secret from you and told her I will be joining her soon as I had kept my cancer secret. she opened her eyes, they were glazed over but I'm sure she could see me. she gave me a wry smile as if she was saying hurry up hun, I'll be waiting. then she breathed out and she was gone.I looked at my two kids and they said you were only kidding dad weren't you. I broke down as did my kids. all they said was they can't lose both of us.

We have chatted since and I have assured them I'll fight my own cancer with everything I have. but they need to understand if I loose my battle the be happy as I'll be with their mum watching over them.

Hi Nat. feeling lost is just the beging. taking on that role of  organising the funeral and trying to protect your sisters as best you could. being the strong one perhaps you haven't given yourself that time to grieve properly .

I lost my wife  we were married for nearly 34 years, she was 62 years young at the time of her passing, it's Coming up to 6 months since my wife died from aggressive cancer. which wasn't diagnosed until she had a scan on her broken thigh bone and a dislodge  hip. she was given at the most two months, but it was 6 weeks before she died. It was during the covid19 outbreak so the hospital was in lockdown and no visitors were allowed. We brought her home to look after her. We did have nurses to administer her pain relief , and helpers to give her bed washers as she was bed ridden. Luck for me all the funeral details were handled by her sister. who I might add kept me and my son and daughter together. she was amazing. if it was left to me, I'd be getting cremated with her. I just could not cope. even weeks after her passing I had imaginary conversations  with her.

It's now coming up to 6 months and I'm not sure if I can cope with Christmas on my own. I know I'm going to have to try. before my wifes cancer was diagnosed, I was her full time carer, and in march I had ulta sound MRI scan and a CT scan all within 5 days. which did  make me think that's odd, as I was o0n 4 monthly scans. the following week I was given an appointment to see a specailist who just said I had a malignant liver cancer. I decided to keep it to myself and not tell my wife.  Then she had this cancer.  It was only when we knew something was going to happen. Don't know what gave us this feeling. I held her hand as her breathing became shorter. I told her she was going no where as I held her hand. I said to her I have kept a secret from you and told her I will be joining her soon as I had kept my cancer secret. she opened her eyes, they were glazed over but I'm sure she could see me. she gave me a wry smile as if she was saying hurry up hun, I'll be waiting. then she breathed out and she was gone.I looked at my two kids and they said you were only kidding dad weren't you. I broke down as did my kids. all they said was they can't lose both of us.

We have chatted since and I have assured them I'll fight my own cancer with everything I have. but they need to understand if I loose my battle the be happy as I'll be with their mum watching over them.