Hi, 

I'm new too. I lost my dad to liver cancer two weeks ago after him being diagnosed only 10 weeks before. The shock of the diagnosis still hadn't really sunk in and he passed away very suddenly so feeling like my world has been turned upside down really. Like you I helped take care of him in his final weeks until he passed away at home, we really bonded in those weeks though and I missed him almost immediately after he was gone. I know what you mean about it being different to the loss of a grandparent, a completely different level of utter grief. It's comforting to know that you have been through a similar situation. X

Hi Louise,

I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your Dad. 
It must have been such a shock and I understand completely, my Mum was in a similar situation. 
We thought she had had a stroke at first as her balance, vision, writing were all off. She went into hospital where they found 4 brain tumours and bone mets in her hip. She had a lung biopsy 2 weeks later and 2 weeks after that we were told she had stage 4 lung cancer so the primary was found last. We went to another hospital a week later where she got put on some decent pain relief.

She deteriorated really quickly but I managed to keep her comfortable for the most part which I'm so glad about. I took time off work to care for her as all the family like you had had their lives tipped upside down.

Mum could hardly get her head round it all as well as try to be brave for the rest of the family.

I hope we can be friends if you like on here. 
I wanted to talk to people who truly understand what this feels like, especially at these cruel and constrained times. 
You take care and look after yourself

GB

Hi GB, 

I think that's one of the things I found hardest, that it was too late for any treatment and there was nothing anyone could do. My dad didn't want to find out how long he had left so the speed of his deterioration really shocked us. But i feel there is some comfort that he wasn't suffering for months on end though and we managed to keep him at home. I'm sure your mum really appreciated that you took the time out to look after her.

Think I am still struggling to process it all at the moment, so trying to let myself express all my emotions as much as possible. The funeral isn't for another couple of days so hope there will be a sense of closure that comes with that.

Of course that would be great. I've got lots of friends and people around me who are very supportive, but not many that can really empathise what it's like to lose a parent so suddenly x

Hi Louise,

I think the funeral does give a sense of closure, I found it all a bit surreal at the time - like I was there but I wasn't, I think I was still in shock. You'll get there and having good family and friends is a blessing for sure. As you say though, you can't always chat with your own friends no matter how great they are, where as people who've experienced similar loss get it and are more impartial. My own family are great but they are quite closed off emotion wise, and I can't talk to my Dad cause it makes him upset.

I hope the funeral goes ok, take care and stay safe

GB xx

Hi Louise,

I think the funeral does give a sense of closure, I found it all a bit surreal at the time - like I was there but I wasn't, I think I was still in shock. You'll get there and having good family and friends is a blessing for sure. As you say though, you can't always chat with your own friends no matter how great they are, where as people who've experienced similar loss get it and are more impartial. My own family are great but they are quite closed off emotion wise, and I can't talk to my Dad cause it makes him upset.

I hope the funeral goes ok, take care and stay safe

GB xx