Hi Victoria

i am so sorry about your husband. 
My husband died on the 19th April this year after being diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer in August 19. 

My husband was 58, we had been together for 32 years and have 2 daughters 25 and 28. We were really happy and loved our life together, we were very lucky. 
I have good friends but none of them have experienced this and although I can talk to them I don't want to depress them. I don't think anyone can truly understand unless it's happened to  them. 
I would find it helpful to talk too

Amanda

Hello, I know what you are going through, I lost my husband June this year, after being diagnosed last Christmas with oesophageal cancer. We were married for 36 years this month, he was a very young 69. I miss him terribly, I hate the scared feeling, life is so lonely, friends are kind, but nobody knows until it happens to you. It's a comfort to read that others know these feelings. This pandemic is making things so much worse, not being able to meet people. Just have to take one day at a time. 

Hello,

im so sorry for your loss, it's horrible isn't it? I know that scared feeling, it feels like you can't breathe. 
I can't believe that it's nearly 6 months since my wonderful husband passed. I can't believe that I'm still here but I know I've got to go on for my girls and my dad. My husband never gave up hope. 
I feel like I'm just going through the motions though. I know I was lucky to have had 32 years with my husband, lots of people don't have that and we were so happy together. 
As you said, one day at a time 

Hello Petanda,

I totally understand about going through the motions. Somehow you know that you have to get through the day for yourself and your daughters. It is just so incredibly sad and draining but you just seem to get the strength to battle through this horrible time. 

In my case I try to be strong for my son and daughter but inside you feel awful.

Chris

Hello Petanda,

I totally understand about going through the motions. Somehow you know that you have to get through the day for yourself and your daughters. It is just so incredibly sad and draining but you just seem to get the strength to battle through this horrible time. 

In my case I try to be strong for my son and daughter but inside you feel awful.

Chris

Hi Chris

thanks for responding to my post. It's helpful to know that others understand, I'm so sorry that you are going through this too. 
As you say we've got to think of our children but I can't help but think that they have their own lives and I don't want to be a burden to them. I try to be positive and upbeat when with them even though I don't feel it. You get used to putting a mask, both real and virtual, on. 

Hi Petanda,

That is exactly how I feel. I very rarely cry in front of my kids, not that i'm ashamed of it, but I try and do my crying when I'm on my own. But I think if I don't feel that pain then perhaps I will be starting to feel 'normal'.  And I don't want to be like that, I want to feel some pain.

Sometimes I find it hard to communicate what I feel and I don't want to upset people.

So how are you coping are you just living day to day? I honestly don't feel any different to day one and I think this grief is something you carry with you. Have you read any books, and have you seen a bereavement counsellor? 

Thanks for replying

Chris

Hi Chris

I haven't had any counselling, I don't know if it would be of any benefit as it can't change what's happened. 
I have read The Grief Book and Widow to Widow and found them both useful. I have also read an article in Good Housekeeping by Dr Edith Eger, a survivor of Auschwitz, which was inspiring. Her life lessons are very insightful especially about dealing with grief. 
I think we are all living day to day at the moment so I don't feel that I'm any different to anyone else. Everyone seems to be struggling with something. 
I am realising that this grief will be something I will always live with and I am starting to accept this. 
Thank you for taking an interest in my situation and it does help to talk to others who are also going through this

Amanda