Hi Mal1970,

Welcome to Cancer Chat. I'm so sorry to hear about your wife - I can only imagine how incredibly difficult this must be. I'm glad you found Cancer Chat and have been able to post here - hopefully you will soon receive further replies as I know there will be others here who have been through, or are going through, something similar.

You mention needing to be strong for your children - that's important, but it's also important that you have space to grieve, to open up to others, to let out any emotion. Hopefully you have others around you who you can speak to about this. Either way, we're always here on this forum for support, or even if you just want to use it as a safe space to write anything down.

It's very early days so I'm sure everything is a bit of a whirlwind of emotion at the moment. Take all the time you need and keep making sure to look after yourself too.

Wishing you all the best and sending condolences at this time,

Ben
Cancer Chat Moderator

I am so sorry to hear the loss of you lovely wife. I know how hard it is, I lost my husband in June, you have children to look after, that will help you to keep going even though it's really difficult, things are going to be so different for you, but you will get into a routine, it's time, that's what I get told. I know it's just a horrible time, but try and be strong. I hope these messages will help you through this horrible time. 

Hello

i am so sorry to hear of your loss .
I understand how you feel .
My partner died just 2 weeks ago ,fighting cancer right till the end . 

It is so hard for the family left behind when

everything stops and the nurses  & drs stop visiting 

 It is still early days for you  and it must be very raw . Of course you will still be talking to your wife it will help you to make sense of everything , I find I am still talking to my partner we were together over 30 years .

We have a  17 year old daughter so I am trying to be positive ,she has her life ahead of her .
Keeping to a routine is helping me even when I don't feel like it .

Walking the dog ,shopping  , gardening , paperwork 

house maintenance anything to give some structure.

Try to look after yourself and keep eating and drinking , my daughter and I have lost our appetite but we are eating little snacks to keep going . 
I find when I am tired and I haven't had much to eat , drink I am more tearful .
The first few days after he died  I felt numb. Now I feel sad and emotional an emptiness comes  with memories everywhere .
 

  I worry about crying in front of my daughter although she doesn't know what to say  I think it's better that she sees it's ok to cry instead of trying to hide it . 

My GP rang me to see how we are and mentioned support also  the hospice where my partner died has a counsellor so I think I will take them up on their offer to talk to someone who understands . 
I hope you have support from your GP and family or friends .
Take care  of yourself 

ksg 

My husband of 33 years passed on the 29th.

i feel so desperately sad.

i can t believe he s not coming back we were so very

happy.

I know exactly how you feel your guts has been ripped

out .

The face of cancer is so very ugly .

I hope you find some peace xx

So sorry about your loss and yes my lads are 16 and 17 and I can't cry with them as I'm trying to be strong for them as well as myself, I must say there's a big empty space in my life now and I know it can't be replaced 

take care 

I lost my husband 1 year ago today and I know it will be hard but you some how get through it .  The time has gone so quick and I have only just managed to do the ashes today . We were happily married for 19yrs and together 26yrs .  We have two amazing children son now 19 and daughter now 16 .  So I know where you are coming from you do hide your tears from them but sometimes you have to let it out this also helps them too . Thinking of you .

Victiria 

Hello Mal 1970,

I am so sorry to hear about your wife. I can understand that you must be feeling empty and numb at the moment, and why you don't want to show your emotions to your children. You obviously want to be seen to be strong in front of them and you don't want burden them with your grief.

My wife passed away in June 2018 and I know what you are going through, to be honest I don't feel any different than from day one. But this isn't amount me.

All the very best to you and your family in the future and stay strong.

And I hope all the other people who have posted, Carmarthenshire, ksg and Victoria can try and find some happiness in these tragic times x

So sorry for your loss

my husband died in June he was 57, cancer is so cruel and he fought till the end.

I feel so lonely without him here, its horrendous so i know exactly how you are feeling. 

Take care  

So sorry for your loss

it is so hard been 4 weeks now since my wife died aged 54 and yes it's very cruel I know how you feel when you say your lonely as I am also , 

miss simple little things we used to do or that chat after I came in from work all seem minor but mean the world when you can't do them 

take care

Hi,

Just wondering how you are? Im just about coping take one day at a time. Going back to work as helped me alot. Still cant get use to him not been here when i get home. Pull on the drive and the house is in darkness then it hits me, Glad christmas is over i was dreading it, cant wait for lighter nights and better weather so i can walk more. 

Take care

Debbie x