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I’m 15 and lost my mum

Fai
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My mum died 3 weeks ago she was fighting inlnesses for along time she had meningitis and nearly passed but some how she made it after about a year she was in constant pain that wasn't cured and 4 months ago she went to hospital and I haven't  seen her since I. couldn't have even seen her last smile I felt broken I value my mums life over mine i wish I could have taken the pain away recently I have been very bad I'm very depressed  I have a 7 year old sister I try to be strong for her but my mum was my world and now she's gone and if there's no world anymore I should be gone to I wish I could have been a better son 4 months she was alive in hospital and I couldn't see her I begged each day and the week I was going to see her was the week she passed I see no point to life now everything I did and was going to become was for her I feel like my life is ruined and there is no point of it.

  • Hi Fai,

    Welcome to Cancer Chat. I'm very sorry to read about your mum - I can only imagine how difficult this must be. It sounds like you're understandably struggling at the moment and no doubt the emotions are tough to deal with. Things must feel raw and I'm sure there's a lot going through your head. Try though to not place any blame on yourself or to beat yourself up in any way about this. The last few months have been difficult especially as far as things like visiting people in hospital go, so there's nothing you could have done about this.

    I don’t think a cancer forum is the right place for you to get the help you need so I would suggest you take a look at some of the helpful advice on the Young Minds website. On this site you’ll find a wealth of support options for younger people who are dealing with grief and the loss of someone close to them.

    I hope you get the support you need

    Wishing you all the best,

    Ben
    Cancer Chat Moderator

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    Oh my, that's so crule ... and my heart goes out to you ... cancer is crule, but this carona , not letting you visit  mum is far worse ... it will hurt for a long time ... theres no easy way round that ... but  im sure your mum is locked up safely in your heart  now ...  take her with you through life ... try to hold on ..

     

    I so wish I could say something to help ease your pain, but I am sending you a vertual hug.... please hold on ... I hope you have a family member or good friend you can talk too ... so so sorry   : ((  xx

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    Hi again ..

    I've looked on the net and there's two charities I've come across ... they are for young ones who have lost a parent ... please give them a try ... reach out ... there are many just like you, I hope they can help ..

    One is      www.winstonswish.org...

    Another is www.hopeagain.org.uk 

    Chrissie x

  • Offline in reply to Chriss

    I appreciate thank you so much is there any sites where I could talk to peers who might be involved in a similar situation 

  • Offline in reply to Fai

    Hi ... 

    Give those 2 places a look on ... I'm sure they should have that info ... good luck ... think there should be councilling in place for those on your  journey ... I've had family go through what you are going through now ... wish they'd had councilling... but we talk about it often .. and they are doing o.k .. but miss him still , even years down the line .... 

    My thoughts are with you ...  Chrissie x

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    Hi, I'm sorry to hear what you are going through,  losing a parent at this age is very cruel, something that should never happen.  my husband passed away from oseophagus cancer on April the 3rd after being ill for the last year, it has been the most terrible time in our lives. I have a daughter, 13, who was very close to her Dad and is missing him heaps, they did alot together like mountain biking, he was is intense pain too the last few months that couldn't be eased either, an awful thing to have to watch and not be able to do anything about.  She has a younger sister too (aged 9). If you would like to chat with her I can put you in touch with her, she chats to a couple of other teens met on here who have also lost a parent, she mainly uses instagram, I can private message you her details. being a mum I know your mum would not think you could have been a better son, mums don't think like that,  we love our kids the way they are!  I'm sure she was proud of you and the way you have turned out, no one's perfect,  parents aren't either!  we all wish we could have done some things better or different... the way you speak of her it is obvious you shared a deep love and were cherished, noone can take that away from you. There is no way your mum would've left you if she didn't have to. It's hard to see any light in the future at present, I feel the same,  people say it will get easier,  but not yet, I think it will take a long time. Someone else said to me in the same situation that they decided it was " sink or swim,  and to sink would show lack of respect for the person that had gone, and everything they had done for them, so it had to be swim". I am trying to live our lives as I know he would have wanted us to, not easy though without him, life will never be the same for any of us, you feel very alone, but you are not, there are lots of others unfortunately suffering like this too

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    Hi my man I'm sorry for what happened  I can empathise with you take grief your way there is no right way and nothing that even your next closest loved one and say that can help I lost my mum at 14 to bowl cancer life has changed I have a beautiful picture of her by my bed and talk to her every night like you my mum was or let me rephrase that is my world it took some time the pain won't go but you'll learn to live with it however Im back on cancer chat today because 2 months ago I lost my dad grandma,grandpa and aunt and I can't tell you how broken I feel go on with your life never forget them and grieve I'm writing this crying because I don't know how to feel I'm living with my beautiful gran and grandpa from my mums side now I'm 16 and studying hard to be a doctor mum always wanted me to become one but remember your family won't mind no matter what you become they will be happy I also feel broken like you I don't know what's the point of life I did have a sybling but sadly she was still born I feel unlucky but I know there watching me and ather people might have it the same way 

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    Hello

    im so sorry to here of your loss it's so sad and painful. 
    Please allow your self time just time. talk to people talk to your sibling and family. 
    I lost my mum very young to and I have a older sister. This was 30 years ago. 
    I have many questions and I often day dream about what was or could of been.

    i am now a parent to 3 children and I cherish every moment. Everything I do I take my mum with me. That unconditional love.. you can use it to for fill your every day. Be kind to yourself. The biggest hug to you. She is with you xxxx

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